I Think Earth Is A Pretty Great Place | SVTFOE

10~ // What I Did

"Dear journal, 

 It's Friday the 23rd, and I feel like venting.. I really hate this. Life feels way too empty. I'm sure it's just me, because clearly everyone else is alright while I'm crying myself to sleep at night in aching pain." 

Star wrote in a black spiral notebook, sitting right in front of the art room. She erased the words, blurring the graphite letters on the thin blue and white paper. "This is stupid, why am I even doing this?" She muttered to herself. She stood up, and noticed Marco walking over. She paused, feeling herself freeze a moment. She shook her head, and glared at him. She turned to her notebook, picking it up. As he approached closer, she turned to face him. Getting closer, he didn't slow down. Star backed up, concerned he might run her over. He quickly grabbed her arm, dragging her into the art room with him. He shut the door behind them, flipping the light switch on. "We need to talk about it, seriously." He sounded almost demanding. She crossed her arms, raising her eyebrow. "Wh-" She began. "I'm not joking, this is important to me and we need to make sure it doesn't mean a single thing. Jackie is all that I'm going for, and I really only have this chance." He explained. Star backed up a little, uncrossing her arms and letting her act disappear for a pure minute. "Is that all this is about?" She asked, offended. "What do you mean?" He asked, sounding like he was in a rush. "You come over and beg me to talk about this stupid situation with you, only to gush about how this is your only chance to get close with her. By what, by acting like you're friends with her housemate?" Star was clearly hurt. He sighed. "That's not what I mean, and you know that." He softened his tone. "Do I really? You know what, I've been through so much crap this whole month and you aren't helping a single bit. How about I tell Jackie that? How about I let her know that you're making me feel like utter trash?" She shouted, gritting her teeth. "How do I make you feel like utter trash? I've apologized and told you that I'm always here to talk, and I've done just that, as well! Unless clearly there's something I'm not seeing here." He said, defensively. "You want to know how you make me feel like utter trash?! You are a liar, Marco. You are not there for me when I need you to be. You're never who I expect you to be. You're only using me for benefits. Do you know how much that hurts me? I've been struggling with a million, Marco. Yet here you are in front of me in this stupid art room, making me think you actually care about how I feel!" She yelled at him, trying to hide her sadness behind her anger. "I have no idea what you're even talking about! What do you mean I'm never who you expect me to be? And what do you mean that I make you think I actually care? Of course I care, Star. Of course I know there's things going on. I need to talk to you about this because I don't want to be one of those things that are going on!" He shouted back. Star groaned in anger. "You would never understand, would you?!" She yelled. "Apparently not." He lowered his voice, backing away from her. She rolled her eyes. "How do you feel?" He asked, breaking the short silence. "..relieved." she muttered. "Wait why?" He looked up at her, who kept her back toward him, her arms crossed. "It doesn't matter." She mumbled. He grabbed her shoulder, turning her around to face the door. "What the-?!" She quickly yelled. He stood in front of her, as they stood beside the art room door. The small window on the door of the art room let in the view of small rain falling from the sky, as he turned off the lights. "Wh.." Star faded out. "Stop." She said aloud. "You can't just mess with me like th-" She began, as Marco quickly moved his face close to Star's, making her go quiet. He held her face in his hands. "Why.." She mumbled, examining his eyes. He looked at Star, before shutting his eyes and sighing. He let go of her face and turned the lights back on. "Platonic?" He asked, looking out the door window. No response from Star, who stood there, heart pounding like a war drum. He sighed, and opened the art room door and shut it after leaving. "What was that I just did..?" He asked himself, as he walked toward the bathroom. He swung the door open, and walked up to a mirror. His face was a light pink. He sighed, looking down to the sink and his hands. He splashed his face with a little water, before quickly heading back for class.

He stood at the front of an Asian Thai restaurant, as Jackie's car pulled up, and the door opened. She hopped out of  the car, and smiled to Marco. "Bye, mom!" She waved, as the car took off. "Hey, Marco." She smiled, him growing a little flustered. "H-Hey Jackie." He smiled. She grabbed his hand, and tilted her head. "Let's have some fun, right?" She asked. He smiled, and nodded, as they both bolted off into the crowd of people. 
 Star sighed, messing with a photobooth photo of her, Jackie, and Chantelle. She covered her face with her thumb, and frowned. "The normal situation." She muttered, as she set the photo roll down on her bedside table. "It's literally the afternoon and all I can think about is Jackie leaving me in the picture with someone else. Specifically Marco. That stupid music fesitval date crap. That's way too sappy anyway, she'll probably be back in thirty minutes." Star muttered to herself. "Freaking Marco messing me up, of course. Who does that? Grab someone's face and hold it close to yours then call it platonic?!" She babbled angrily, ranting to herself. "Whatever, it's useless." Star sighed, looking out her window at the kids playing. Her heart burned, a tingled with a major fire. She felt herself being stabbed with millions in the middle of her heart. She sighed, shaking her head. "Everything has gone downhill since this stupid freaking war." She growled. "And it's all my fault." She mumbled, gently telling herself. She shut her eyes, her stomach going completely empty as the stereo softly played music. "I want to go home." She mumbled, covering her face with her fluffy pillow, as her chest burned with rage and pain. 

Nothing has ever hurt so much, has it?