What's Left of Me (Jacob Black Fan Fiction)

Chapter 28 - Time Away

Jacob’s POV

     It had been two weeks since Dani left. Two weeks since my world had turned upside down. Two weeks since I’ve been in my depressive state. I barely ate when the pack went to Sam and Emily’s. They basically had to force me to eat, saying Danielle wouldn’t want me starving myself. That’s the only reason I went on. I moved through La Push like a zombie. My skin had become paler and I just looked unhealthy. My dad was worried, I could tell. I had heard him talking to Sam on more than one occasion. The guys never mentioned what happened, they knew it would just make it worse. They saw it on replay whenever I was on patrol and it got to the point where some avoided going with me. I had forgiven Paul because I knew it wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t have stopped it from happening. I walked around with an ache in my chest. I felt like a hole had been punched in my chest and it wasn’t closing up. It would never heal.

      The pain may dull but I doubt it would ever go away and I didn’t want it too. It was there to remind me of Dani, though I could never forget her. She was my imprint, the most beautiful girl I know, and the love of my life. I knew she probably felt the same way. It made me cringe to think of Danielle being so depressed and alone. I would run all the way to her and bring her back if we only knew where she was. Paul doesn’t even know where she used to live. He’d tried to contact Dani and her parents but so far he hasn’t heard anything.

      The days ran into one big blur of endless days and sleepless nights. Every day consisted of the same routine. I went to Sam and Emily’s, patrolled with the pack, and hung out at Paul’s not really talking, just existing. No energy, no smile, just being as alive as I can be and waiting. I’m always waiting for any sound from Danielle, any sign that tells me where she is or that she’s ok. To put it bluntly…it sucks. It sucks that I can’t hold her in my arms. It sucks that my heart feels like it’s been ripped out of my chest. It sucks that none of my pack mates can help me because they don’t know how it feels to have your world taken from you. To feel so low and down. To feel so alone. I hope they never did.

      Now I sat on Paul’s couch letting the day drift on outside while I remained content with letting it. I had been coming here ever since Dani left. I don’t know why I do. Everything here reminds me of her. Her scent, though very faint, still lingers. It’s like I put myself through this pain but it helps me feel closer to her and feel like she’s still here. The rest of the pack had grown accustomed to my distant behavior. At first they tried to help me. No one would leave me alone but that’s how I felt. Alone in a room full of people. As the days went on, they slowly started backing off. They never spoke of Danielle and tried to keep their space but I was still never left by myself.

      Embry and Quil sat in the middle of Paul’s living room playing some type of war video game. Sam was out patrolling with Seth, Leah, and Jared. There hasn’t been any activity around La Push lately but they probably just wanted to get away from my depressing state. Paul sat in a recliner next to the couch. His eyes were trained on the tv but they were glazed over, thoughtful. He took Dani’s absence almost as hard as I did. He blamed himself and had stayed locked in his house until Sam and the rest literally dragged him out to patrol. I felt closer to Paul now than I ever had. I used to think he was just some hot-headed, big-mouthed jerk of the pack but now everything was different. The pain bonded us.

      “Stop cheating Quil,” Embry yelled, giving him a shove. “It’s not my fault you suck at this game,” Quil countered pushing him back. “You both suck at the stupid game,” Seth said strolling in with Sam, Leah, and Jared on his heels. Quil and Embry both glared at him before returning their attention to the game. Sam slumped into a chair near Paul and let out a sigh. “Rough day?” I ask not really caring one way or the other. “Nothing out of the ordinary just a long day,” he replied. All the days are long, I thought to myself. The room filled with light conversations. Seth tried to talk to Paul while Jared egged on Quil and Embry. Leah sat in the corner looking at the scene unfold much like I did.I slowly got up and walked into the kitchen.

      Today had been hard on me for some reason and I just couldn’t sit in there any longer. I took a swig of water and put the cup in the sink. I rested my hands on the edge of the counter and dropped my head, closing my eyes. I didn’t realize I was crying until a tear landed on my hand. I tried my best not to cry when others were around but I didn’t care at this point. I straightened up when I heard the wood floor creak at the kitchen door. I cast a glance over my shoulder to see Leah leaning against the wall. “What do you want Leah?” I ask wiping my eyes and turning to face her. “Sam had me come check on you,” she replied curtly. I crossed my arms over my chest and felt a spout of anger feel me. “I wish everyone would just leave me alone,” I say with venom, not particularly at her but at the whole situation. “We are worried about you Jacob. It’s been two weeks since Danielle left and you are still moping around,” she said walking closer to me. “Excuse me if I’m just a little depressed about my imprint being taken away from me. No one understands how I feel,” I say hearing my voice rise and a tremor run through my spine. “I know no one understands but we are trying to Jake. You’re the beta and we all look up to you even though I hate to admit it,” she exclaimed.

      Her statement got a dark chuckle out of me. “I don’t think I could’ve made it without the pack. I’m not strong enough,” I whisper falling back to my down feelings. “You’re strong Jacob. No one in the other room doubts that. We are a pack and we’ll be here for you,” Leah replies placing a reassuring hand on my arm. The gesture reminds me of something Dani would do. It’s very rare when anyone sees Leah’s soft side. Everyone, including myself, got fed up with her complaints and rants about Sam and Emily when she first turned but now I knew how she felt. “Thanks,” I state giving her a half-hearted smile. We remained silent after that, Leah returned to the living room and I stayed leaning against the counter. I felt like we had an unvoiced agreement that we understood each other. Maybe not fully but more than before. I could hear the repeated gunfire from the video game and the chatting from Seth echo through the house.

      After a few minutes, I faintly heard the front door open and a thud from an unknown source. I had no intention of walking in there to see who had entered the house until I heard it. “Hey guys,” a familiar voice rang. My stomach dropped and I felt my heartbeat sped up. The sounds from the other room stopped completely. I scrambled to the door of the kitchen, practically tripping over a chair. I stopped dead in my tracks when I got to the living room.

      Across the room stood an angel at the front door. Everyone stared at her. I shook my head to make sure she was really there and yet she still remained when I focused again in her direction. There stood Danielle with two suitcases by her feet and the most dazzling smile on her face. When her eyes finally connected with mine, I could feel a lump form in my throat. “Jacob,” she breathed, tears coming up in her eyes. That’s all I needed to hear. In the next second, I was across the room and holding Dani tightly in my arms. Slowly but surely, I felt the hole that was in my chest closing and healing. I was whole again.