Let the Tears Fall

Chapter Nine

I ran to the first place I could think of: Matt's house. I was sobbing before I even got there, and I pounded on the door as loud as I could. Matt opened the door and at first, he looked worried and sad, but then he composed his face and he looked mean.

"What do you want?" I guess I sort of expected him to wrap me in his arms when he saw me, and to tell me everything was okay.

"I..." Why had I come here? "Can I see Caitlin?"

"Yeah. You know where her room is." He said.

I ran past him and to Caitlins room, and without knocking I threw open the door. Caitlin gasped when she took a good look at me.

"What happened to you?!"

"My dad lost it. He kept hitting me and kicking me. So yeah. Nice, right?"

"Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?"

"Not at all."

"There's your answer. Look, I'm not staying long. I just needed somewhere to go. I guess I thought that Matt would be the old Matt when he saw me, but I was wrong."

"Yeah, I know. I don't know what his issue is."

"Is he mean to you, too?" I asked.

"Kind of. He knows I'm mad at him."

"Ah." was all I replied. I walked over and sat down besides Caitlin on her bed.

"You look so sad."

"What do you mean?"

"You just look sad... you have bags under your eyes, your makeups all messed up, and you still have tears coming out of your eyes."

"Oh. Yeah well I am sad."

"I figured."

I sighed. "I don't even know why I came here. I'll see you later, I guess. Bye."

"You don't have to leave."

"I know. Bye." and with that i walked out.

Matt stared at me as I walked out, and I tried my best to ignore him. He broke my heart, and he expected me to never glance at him when I saw him? To be perfectly okay? Yeah, okay, like that's gonna happen. I got home in no time. I felt a wave of fear wash over me as I looked at my dad. My mom was there though, so hopefully he won't hurt me. My mom looked at me and gasped.

"What happened to you?!'

"Ask dad." I said as I ran up the stairs and into my room.

Kaylee was sprawled across her bed reading Twilight.

I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I looked in the mirror and saw why everyone kept gasping. There was a bleeding cut on my forhead, and I had bruises on my jaw line and a couple on my cheeks. I lifted up my shirt, only to find a ton of black and blue bruises on my abdemen and ribs. I fell to the ground then and banged my head against the wall. Why didn't Matt love me anymore? Why was I such a freak? Why didn't anybody like me? Maybe everyone would be happy if I were dead... I know I would. I wanted to die. The only thing keeping me here was the tiny spark of hope that Matt would love me again, and I knew I couldn't just leave Kaylee and Olivia here. I knew things would get better though, they had too. Maybe I'd forget about Matt? No. I knew I'd never forget Matt.

I took a deep breath and stood up, opening the door and running over to my drawer. Kaylee looked at me suspictiously. I tried to look casual, like I was grabbing my phone and I thought it was in the drawer. I grabed a razer blade from the drawer, hoping Kaylee wouldn't notice, then grabbed my phone and went back in the bathroom. I sat down on the floor and looked at my good arm, the one that didn't have cuts and a giant bruise on it. I took the razer blade and started at my wrist, not bothering to go lightly at first. The jab of pain was worse than last time, and the rush of blood was more than it was last time, too. I hadn't realized I was sobbing, and I leaned my head against the wall, staring up at the ceiling.