Without The Love ||Jiley||

Chapter 9

Last night I just couldn't fall asleep, I think I only slept like 3 hours. My eyelids are heavy and I feel miserable. The things that happened last night, keep haunting me and every time I see Justin, Taylor or my parents I get reminded of it. Anyways, I said I'd meet Katy at Starbucks in about two hours so I have to cover these bags with make up. I borrowed some from Katy, she said I could keep it so I do. I stretch my arms, still laying in my bed around 11 o'clock. It's never usual for me to get up this late but this time I just didn't care. I was too tired to get up and do homework. I yawn before I stand up and put my bathrobe on. My closet doors open and I grab my favorite outfit. Before I'm gonna do something, I'm taking a shower first. Last night I came home around 1 o'clock, my mom was gone and dad sat on the couch. I walked upstairs without saying a thing and crashed on my bed, crying. I think I at least cried for over 2 hours. Then I fell asleep in my clothes and woke up round 4 am. I had a dream that Justin found out about me and Taylor and that he didn't want to see me again. Then Taylor came around the corner and smacked Justin on his jaw. I woke up when Taylor pushed me to a wall and held a knife against my throat. My eyes couldn't close for over two hours, I fell asleep again and kept waking up. The sun shines through my curtains when I shove them open. I walk into the bathroom and lock the door placing my clothes over the shower door and throwing a towel over them. I hang my bathrobe up and undress myself. I step underneath the shower and feel the warm water soothing my skin. When my hair is washed and my skin is clean, I step out of it and wrap a towel around my hair. I wipe the mirror clean with another towel and look at myself. I dress myself into my clothes. What am I supposed to do? I feel so helpless, I can't even tell Katy what's going on. And every time my mom's gone I feel this painful ache in my heart, knowing she's with Taylor's dad. If she only knew what's going on. I'm not gonna tell my mom about this because she'll deny it and freak out if I tell about what Taylor's doing to me. I rub in my eyes and stare at the sink. My hands are grabbing the sink, I gag one time and cough. I feel nauseous and I think I'm about to throw up. Everything starts to float in my head and I feel dizzy. I run towards the toilet and kneel down. I bow my head over the seat and throw up, it's not much, but it's enough the leave the sour bitter taste in my mouth. "Miley? Are you okay in there?" My dad says and knocks on the door. I swallow and take a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm fine." I lie and rest my head in my hands. "Okay." He sighs and walks away. I try to stand up after 10 minutes of doing nothing and dry my hair, curl it, and do my make up. Some extra foundation for my big bags under my eyes to cover them. It worked out pretty well and I try my smile for when I meet Katy. I walk out of the front door, hoping not to meet Taylor but it stays quiet. Birds chirp and leaves crackle against each other. A few leafs shuffle past me, meaning it's almost fall. I hate fall, it makes me sad because of the thought behind it; Everything will fall apart one day. And it could fit at this point of my life. I sit on a bench in the busstop and cross my legs.

The bus stops and some people get out, I sigh only to see Chanel and Avril waiting for it and they step in. I cover my face with my hands and see they're coming towards me. Chanel raises her eyebrow once she spots me and openly chews her gum. Chanel puts her bag on a seat, two seats in front of me. I push the stop button and get out at the next stop. Katy hugs me and asks me if I'm already feeling better.I shake my head and swallow. "Not really, still feel a bit nauseous." I say and slightly smile. It's true what I'm telling her, I do feel nauseous but the reason behind it is different. "Did you talk or see Justin yet?" She asks on a calm tone. A spark ignites in my heart when she speaks out his name and I smile by the idea of being in his arms and cuddle with him. "No not yet." I say and stare at the ground. Katy locks her arm with mine and we walk past some stores. "I could ask him to come too?" She asks me but I quickly shake my head. I don't want to see him now, I want to be alone with him. I sigh and answer her question. "No.. I still don't feel very well." I make and excuse and she looks away, shrugging her shoulders. "Anyways, what about you and Jessie?" I ask and see her expression change to a huge smile. "It's going great, I'm meeting him tonight at the local bar." She says and turns her head to me again. "Really? That's great!" I exclaim and she nods. "I know, he is such a sweet and caring guy. I feel like I can talk about anything with him I totally trust him." She says and smiles at me. I look away and stare into the distance. I see a girl with long almost black hair up ahead and squeeze my eyes to see it better. "Is that Selena?" I ask Katy and she nods. "Yeah, she tweeted that she was gonna shop today with Taylor." My eyes widen and I immediately stop walking. "Is he here now too?" I ask her and she frowns. "Yeah, why? I don't like him either but-" "Lets go somewhere else." I cut her off and drag her with me. "What's with you and your sudden distance to Taylor?" She chuckles and I sigh. "I, I just don't like him." I say and we walk into a designer shop. I walk to the back of the shop and wait till they pass by. I see Taylor looking into the shop, stopping in front of it and looking inside. Selena drags him with her and they finally leave. I sigh of relief and walk back to Katy who's checking out some jeans. "What do you think of these bordeaux jeans?" She asks and holds them in front of her. I nod and point my thumb upwards. She decided to buy it and we walk out of the shop again. After a long walk of silence Katy breaks it. "Why are you so quiet? Is there something wrong?" She scares me with her question and I try to stay as cool as possible. "Nothing, I just feel sick and haven't slept very well." I say softly. She says she understands it and that it's okay. Maybe I can meet up with Justin tonight? And maybe I can find out what he did to Taylor? That'll explain so much more probably. I take my phone out and text him: Hey, wanna hang out tonight?xoxo. I tick on the send icon and wait for his respond. I hope he's got some time for me. Within 5 minutes my phone buzzes and I read the text: Yeah, sure. U wanna come to me or what?xxx. He says and I say that I wanna stay at his house and that I'm coming around half past 6 at his place. I end the day with having dinner at Mario's pizza place and make my way home again.