My Life: Its Ok, I Guess.

First Gig

There comes a time in everyman's life, where he must choose a path.

This path led me to music. And i've met a great group of people because of it!

This one is my "first gig" story.

I'll start it off like this:

Me and my best friend, Dustin, were going to do an acoustic cover show at this local bar here, called "the brickhouse."

Me and Dustin also worked at a mexican restaurant together at the time, and we had just gotten off, i, time to get ready and go to the show! Dustin rolls a fat blunt, and we get "prepared".

We load the gear up, and get going.

I was nervous;

And this happened on a whim, the entertainment that was scheduled backed out!

So we threw together a shit load of cover songs together!

About two blocks away from the bar, we see blue lights;

Ah fuck...

Dustin gets his stuff together, and reaches in the center console, and grabs something, and says "by the way, bruh...you might wanna eat this!"

It was the fucking blunt roach!

"What? Are you serious? Fuck!"

I exclaimed!

I popped it in my mouth, but cotton mouth wasnt letting it go down!

I did the only thing i could think of;

I started to chew.

It tasted of ass and oregano!

And it still wasnt going down, only made it worse. Now its spread all over my mouth,and i hear the friendly *tap tap* from the cops maglite flashlight on my window,

FUUUUUUCKKKKK!

I hesitantly roll the window down.

"Hey, officer! What seems to be the problem?"

I asked, in my whitest voice that i could muster.

"This vehicle smells strongly of marijuana, what are you boys doing?"

"Weed? Nah man! We just got off work, and we stink!"

"You're friend already said you two were smoking..."
The cop said, while turning back to dustin.

I took that opportunity to spit the remnants of the roach out slowly and not discreet, at all!

"I'm gonna search the vehicle, you have anything on you? dont lie!"

"Nah, man...you wont find shit here."

I forgot i was talking to a cop.

And he wouldnt find it, cuz its all in my teeth mothafuckaaaaaa!

Thankfully, the cop didnt find anything, and was visibly pissed, but fuck it!

We fought the law, and my mouth saved the day!

So Dustin gets back in, giggling his fucking ass off!

"Yeah, really funny! My mouth tastes like a fuckin spice rack!"

We pull up to the bar, and i run in, cuz the taste isnt going away, and order a beer! Guzzle that fucker down! And get another for the nerves!

We set up, and start playing. And it was fuckin amazing, and i did much better than i anticipated!

Started off nervous and stiff, and a few songs in, i was like "all these ladies want your 4 inch weiner, you are a god!"

Girls were totally staring at the angle of my dangle, yessir.

I took a small break after an hour and a half. And a girl approached me, and flat out tells me

"You got a "fuck me" voice."

"What?"

Had no idea what she meant!

"You have a voice that makes women wanna fuck you!"

My weiner saluted that bitch.

"Thanks but im in a relationship."

"So?"

Damn...and she was cute, and id totally put my nuts in her butt, but my girlfriend would probably not like that.

Then another girl, tried to share her cocaine with me.

Sex drugs and rock and roll, baby. I declined, not my thing!

But, the night went great. Afterwards, my girlfriend was kind of mad, because of all the female attention i was getting;

And it wasn't everyday that some hot girls looked at me...and felt all sexy (but fat). I went home with a big head, but i rocked the fuck outta that shit! And no one can take that from me!