My Life: Its Ok, I Guess.

He Could've Bought Me Dinner First...

This has to be one of the very few stories that I've really been reluctant to tell;

But it's not in my nature to hold anything back that is comedic (if not embarrassing)

This story takes place when I was only dating Cindy, the woman who would become my wife.

At this time we would see each other almost every weekend, and this particular day, her kids were at their fathers house, and her parents (she was temporarily staying with them until tax time) were gone for the night.

We were outside smoking a joint, and we were feeling a little frisky, and decided to just have sex, right there in the backyard!

So we practically rip each others clothing off, And it was like that perfect sex where your smeckel-stick is at full potential,  and the girl is just really fuckin dirty and into it. Just bam bam! Ya know?

So its like maybe 15 minutes in, and its fuckin dirty man, that type of shit would make brazzers go "dude, calm down!"

And I feel a weird sensation... and it is not my wife, nor I that caused it...

The neighbors dog...licked my fucking butthole....I tightly clench, and move forward away from the dogs mouth the best way I can, my wife thought I was just going hard and deep so she was really moaning hard for it. And I yelled "Babe, Willy just rimmed me, I gotta move!!!"

The laughter that spewed from her mouth haunts me to this day, but not nearly as much as that fucking dog...could've bought me dinner first...