WHITE NOISE

CHAPTER 8

Maya's POV

I knew it would happen, sooner than I can imagine. But I knew I had to face him soon, or rather he had to face me. I knew there has to be more than just locking me up in this dungeon. He kept me locked for the past 9 days, but this had to end, and the truth had to come out. Why was he keeping me here, what did I ever do to him? I heard the faint footsteps approaching the dungeon door, and I shut my eyes pretending to sleep.

I knew this has to be dealt with patience and Brandon was not in his right mind. Any kind of confrontation would either make him angry or would end up in me getting physically damaged or both. I heard him opening the trap door to the dungeon and I lay still on my side. I lay with my face towards him as he approached me. I saw him taking slow and steady steps towards me. My pulse raised and my heartbeat grew louder in my ears as fear clutched me, but I kept my calm, I was scared but I knew it would only make the matter worse for me. So I just lay there and played my part, when something dripped on my thigh.

Curiousity got the best of me when after a few drops that fell on my thigh, I could not keep my eyes shut and peeked slowly at him and at the drops of blood from his scrapped knuckles that fell on my knee and thigh of left leg. He stirred and hid his hand behind his back as he tried to retreat taking few steps back but collided with factory machinery and stopped.

This was my chance to speak, so I took a deep breath and dragged my eyes on him all the while thinking of how to start the conversation, but my mind stopped reeling when my eyes met his. It was the first time I had actually paid attension to his eyes.

His dark blue eyes were bloodshot and moist. The veins bulged at his temples, and his quivering eyes held a lot of struggle and suffocation . If only eyes could suffocate they would look like what he held on his head. I could see the struggle and for all I could see in those eyes, it felt that he was the one who was trapped and not I. I could read those eyes forever, I knew I had to say something now but all my thoughts had vanished coz I could read him, read him through his eyes.

His blue eyes piercing me with the unspoken yet screaming emotions. Did I see unshed tears in them? I could not see the tears, but I could see pain, fury, fear, hurt, suffocation, longing, loneliness and something else, something else that I could not understand. But what do I know of Pain, of fury, of hurt or suffocation or longing?

I was aware of the one emotion that reflected in his eyes that resonated with my own and it was loneliness. The rest were unknown to me. But unlike in him my loneliness was bland and cold, it was like the frost that fell on every other emotion and turned it cold, it neither made me suffer nor made me realise that I was alone. The loneliness that held him was like an open wound, it bled and it made him suffer, seeping in his mind, his soul and his existence until everything was poisoned by its touch, I could see it in his eyes. I was aware of fear, but it was as though my loneliness shrouded it in its veil and turned the emotion cold.

A low but vicious growl escaped his chest that brought me back to reality. I turned my gaze towards the bleeding hand once more. Suddenly as if something sparked life into the still form of his rigid body, he jerked forward and shot towards me with a fast pace, stopping right before he could hold me by my shoulders. I could still see the struggle in his eyes. I could see he was holding back. I could see he suffered, but why? Why was he such a mystery?

I could see him walking back and leaning his back on the wall, sitting on the floor facing me. My eyes held his again and it was as if for the first time, I felt movement in my chest, it was not the beat of my heart, but something entirely new. I could feel something grow in my chest. As if the loneliness that had resided in me suddenly decided to leave and gave its place to the new feeling.

Brandon was nobody to me, he still is nobody to me, but just somebody who held me against my will, but why is it that it did not anger me anymore. Did it ever anger me that he kidnapped me and kept me in this dungeon? I still felt nothing, no pain, no hurt, no longing, nothing, but there was a peace. I did not know if he would kill me, or physically hurt me, but this moment was something that gave me peace right now, looking into his eyes that hardly blinked, yet the initial turmoil in them had simmered down and his eye-lids stopped quivering and I could see longing in them. 

I know that this moment is what is going to be my "happy-place" that I could always go back to in my mind, when the reality would become too much to take in, if I ever found myself in need of one, this moment right here was my new moment of peace, bcoz it was this moment so close to something which could actually go wrong in my life, made me feel alive, it was the first moment I was so close to danger, yet I looked into its eyes and saw the reflection of myself. 

I saw myself staring back at me, My senses heightened and with my pulse raised I could feel every emotion of mine, see everything more clearly and was hyper aware of my existence in the world. Earlier it was as if I was drifting through this life, not having actually lived it. Never was I ever more alive than the moment I was close to losing everything, perhaps it was this moment, perhaps it was now.  

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