A World of Shadows

Chapter 21: Baggage

This chapter is dedicated to the amazing Mandoysmosoy for her far too kind words about my humble writing ;) you should definitely go check out some of her works!

I watched the breath of passers-by mist around me as my exhalations remained stubbornly invisible. My mind was still turning over Jake's words but they remained cryptic. I was only certain of four things.

Jamie knew the wolves and something had happened between them which had led Jacob to be very weary of him.

Jamie had possibly lied to me and actually knew my past all long, including my connection to the pack.

Jamie's name wasn't Jamie.

Jamie had some serious explaining to do.

However, in order to get some answers from him, I first had to find him. If I was him I would have scarpered to a far away place but, from what I'd seen of him and what I'd gleaned from Jake, I was sure he was still hanging around. It wasn't that Jamie was stupid but if he was watching the wolves he would know about our little meeting, which had been just hours ago, and I was sure he wouldn't be able to resist tracking me down - whether to gloat or to question.

At this prospect my fingers curled around the untouched, cheap coffee before me in anticipation as my eyes followed the steam's spiralling path towards the grey clouds above. I was aware of the searingly hot white ceramic beneath my ghostly fingers but was more bothered by the repellant aroma filling my nose. But the stench was not enough to mask the spices and cotton fragrance I had been waiting for when it suddenly filled the air. The anticipation which had been smouldering in my chest exploded as a blonde head appeared around the corner ahead and I released the cup to prevent myself from imploding it.

Jamie seemed weary, his eyes landed on me only briefly before flickering around shiftily as he came closer. I was entranced by his effortless, majestic grace but I noted he seemed less composed than when I had first met him. The arrogant gleam had left his eyes to be replaced by something unsettling which lingered beneath the scarlet irises causing my defence mechanisms to grind into action as venom pooled in my mouth.

I didn't trust those eyes one bit yet I didn't move...didn't acknowledge his approach with any flicker of recognition except from my gaze which never left his face. He silently slid into the chair opposite, his eyes jumping around nervously.

"Did you have fun trip?" He asked lightly, staring down the bustling street to my left, ignoring my intent gaze.

"Maybe," I replied, erring on the side of caution, determined to extract as much information as possible "but I'm not here to talk about me..I'd rather hear your story. I want to know how to ended up like this." This made him look at me. His head swivelled slowly to meet my gaze and I saw torment screaming through his cracked exterior. A completely different man sat opposite me than the one who had walked into biology or even the one who had torn me apart with vicious words.

"Why?" He asked furrowing his brow.

"You know clearly my story so I think I should know yours."

"Your fragile little mind won't like my story...it's not pretty." The sarcasm fell slightly flat as a broken, mocking smile curled his taut lips. "I want to tell you everything. I want you to understand but you might hear things that will cut deep." His words were beautifully tender as he said this; alarm bells were ringing deep in the recesses of my mind at his warning and changeable mood but I shut them down, keeping my face impassive.

"Try me..." I said softly, an unbidden and surprising compassion blooming in my chest for the man before me. He was just as hurt as I was, I recognised the look in his eyes; it was the one that stared back at me in the mirror every morning.

"I mean...you won't like what you find out about your furry little friends." The warm empathy was extinguished at his words as though I had been thrown in a ice bath. The insults the vampire opposite had thrown at me just days before came back to me crystal clear followed closely by what Jake had said about him. I recalled the worry which had creased Jake's brow after he found out about him. I remembered what Jamie thought of me - how deeply his words had cut - and I hated him for all of it. I hated him for causing those lines of worry on Jake's face. I hated him for his harsh words. But most of all I hated him because I was scared that what he thought of me was true.

"You might think I'm a pathetic little girl but, trust me, I can take whatever you have to say." I snapped suppressing this unnerving thought. He gazed at me steadily a crease between his alluring eyes and I sat motionless; trying to peek past his carefully constructed shields which where crumbling even as I watched. There was an ocean of answers beneath those buckling barriers and it was an ocean I wanted to dive into.

"You're not pathetic," he continued quietly inspecting the cooling coffee on the mottled grey, metal table between us, "you just get too connected...I made that mistake a long time ago, it broke me, but I never made the same mistake again." He looked up at me with his last words and is eyes burned with an agonising intensity.

"What happened?" I breathed, completely sucked in by his vulnerable, low voice.

"I'll tell you everything but once you've heard it you will answer all my questions." He said fixing me silently with his mesmerising eyes till I nodded. Only then did he continue. "I lost everything...in some ways my story is like yours but in my humble opinion I think mine is far more dramatic." His stab at humour tugged my lips up at the corners as I leaned forward held captive by his eyes and rumbling words. "I was turned in 1916 by some rogue vampire...I don't know his name to this day. My parents were turned at the same time...it was raining so hard that night, the pavements were sloshing with water...I remember every step my parents and I took sounded like a slapping squelch yet I didn't even hear them coming. I don't know why they didn't just kill us...but for whatever reason I'm still here to tell you my story. He left the three of us screaming in the street. You would have thought somebody would have come to see what was going on but these were lawless times and we were right out in the middle of nowhere; nobody could hear us or were bothered enough to investigate.

"I remember the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a broken glass, I can remember the scattered shards gleaming in the rising sun. I could see it all in such detail, each ray of light shining in every direction. Then the light hit my hand and the light sparkled upon my skin just like it had on the shards of glass." He paused here tearing his gaze from mine - breaking the spell - and glancing at the sky where the previously wispy clouds were thickening ominously above us. I took the chance to cut in.

"Did both your parents get turned?" Slowly he lowered his head to return my stare.

"Yes and we got through being newborns just the three of us, piecing together what had happen to us and trying to comprehend what we had become.

"We didn't run into other vampires for ten years, and when we did it was some vegetarian clan - a wannabe family. Until then we had been getting by drinking human blood, burning the bodies and moving around a lot. They taught us how to get by on animal blood, but none of us ever really got it, all we knew was that we didn't have to kill people and that meant it just felt wrong to keep doing it. We were struggling....my mum especially...

"Then...then I found Clarissa...she was the most amazing...the best..." His head dropped briefly in suppressed pain before he lifted his broken gaze to my face painstakingly slowly. "I loved her so much...she taught us how to drink human blood without killing. She saved us and...I loved her. She was the most beautiful...the most perfect being I have ever encountered...everything was so perfect...I was so happy." His face was lit by a tortured euphoria that broke my icy heart. "Then your wolves came along..."

If my heart had still been pumping it would have missed a beat.