A World of Shadows

Chapter 15: Shattered

Chapter song: Never Go back by Evanescence

I contemplated the corpse sprawled spread-eagled on the wood floor of my flat. It had taken a lot of speed and stealth getting it up here and now it was here I had no idea what to do. I was not really sure what had compelled me to bring it up here. Just one hour ago I had scattered three bodies everywhere from the bottom of a ravine in the mountains to the murky depths of the sea. Yet this body lay before me. The skin had an unnatural pallor and the face had the sort of slack look that could only be achieved in death. The absence of life was also apparent in the sightless gaze of the unremarkable brown eyes lined slightly with age; glassy under the orangey light from a street lamp outside the window that was the only light source in the room. The artificial light also illuminated the mess of dark brown hair on the head and upper lip before falling on the scruffy clothes, which smelt like stale smoke, of my fourth murder in one day and in my life. After a moment I stepped back, tearing my detached gaze away I kicked the lump of flesh unceremoniously out of sight of the window and left slamming the door behind me.

I could feel every grain of gravel beneath my back as I lay on the Tarmac which I assumed was cold but had no contrast with my skin. The inky vista above me was smattered with pin pricks of light surrounding the beautiful orb which cast a cold light over the forest either side of the road. Never before had I appreciated the night sky in such detail. Areas, which I had assumed were empty space, now teemed with constellations above me and the surface of the moon revealed deep craters and cavernous ravines, that had remained hidden to my eyes for so many years. I lay hypnotised until a sound broke me from my reverie. A rumble...a car.

The engine drew closer as a plan settled in my blood-drenched mind. I stretched my body more obviously across the road, closed my eyes and lay in wait, anticipation rising with every rev of the engine. As the truck swung round the corner, causing the headlights to spill across my poised body and seep through my eyelids, it shuddered to a halt. The engine cut out and a creaky door was forced open followed by footsteps approaching me - with a tug of joy I noted the human was alone. Alone and vulnerable.

"Oh, god," a gruff voice cursed softly crouching next to me, "Jesus...hello? Can you hear me?" I made a weak sound in the back of my throat encouraging him closer. I could hear blood pounding through his veins encouraging venom to pool in my mouth. My teeth ached with desire. "Can you talk? What's your name?" Slowly I lifted my hand placing it on the back of his jacket to draw him closer.

"My name is Isabella Marie Swan." I breathed in his ear seductively. Then I moved my lips slightly down to kiss the skin that fluttered with blood and I felt him retract at my cool touch but my strong hand held him in place as I whispered, "And I'm a vampire." Then I pulled my lips back and plunged my teeth into his neck like a knives into soft butter.

The warm gush, that I was quickly becoming familiar with, tasted better every time. I sighed into his neck contentedly, shifting on the Tarmac slightly, whilst still supporting his body effortlessly in the crouch he had taken to come to my aid.

My knight in shining armour.

I laughed softly as the last drop of blood landed on my tongue.

***

I dusted the dirt from my hands as I left the cover of the trees jumping into the cab of the black pickup truck noting with satisfaction that my clothes had escaped unmarked. I was getting better at this...and all on my own at that.

Whilst I had been otherwise occupied in the company of the forest the sky had shifted from indigo to an overcast grey and the light glinted off the keys which were still in the ignition. At my command the engine sputtered into life and I encouraged the truck into motion before turning on the radio and fiddling with the tuner till Evanescence's Never Go Back broke through the white noise. With a carelessness usually never presented by me I joined in with Amy Lee, adding harmonies in my newly exquisite voice. The music filled my mind mixing with the happy haze of blood to create an intoxicating high which stretched my lips in a maniacal smile.

The road had led me back into the town where I silently mocked the humans who were starting to emerge from their homes clutching coffee, looking haggard, and shooting my loud music angry looks. The liquid surging under their skin had no effect upon my throat with the recent meals still empowering me. I felt untouchable and amazing for it.

That was until my eyes lighted upon a headline outside a newsagents.

A headline that dissolved all my arrogance leaving me cold.

A headline that changed everything.

Burned body discovered outside nightclub

I quickly averted my eyes and kept my foot on the accelerator as though it was of no consequence to me. The bubble of happiness I had been living in suddenly shattered as the last words of the song echoed in my ears.

"And I can never go back...home." I looked up into the mirror and blood-red eyes gazed back. The eyes of a monster.

With that one thought emotion came flooding back, like a tsunami bursting through flimsy flood walls, bringing an assault of horrifying images that threatened to drown me.

Flames illuminating a brick wall.

The flash of a blade.

Three pairs of terrified eyes.

A corpse sprawled on the pavement.

Limbs flailing as they tumbled through the air between two walls of rock.

A figure descending into the dark waves.

Dirt hitting a chalky white face.

The onslaught of memories from the night before were like scenes from a horror film and now the monster who had inflicted all that pain stared back at me with glowing red eyes contrasting eerily with snowy white skin.

I was the vision of a vampire.

All this had coursed through my mind in less than a second and I kept my hands on the wheel careful not to crush it as I tried to contain the mayhem beneath the surface. I was shattering...shattering like a sheet of ice into a million fragmented, jagged pieces.

Why had Jamie turned my humanity off? It was all that made me who I was. The only thing that defined me and stopped Bella becoming just another monster like the one that had turned me. Just then Jamie's parting words swam to the surface, two fragments of memory among the mess in my mind.

'Too self-centred to even help me after all I've done for you...'

I couldn't blame him there was only one person at fault and they were currently driving a black pickup truck.

My flat loomed into view breaking me from my reverie and I parked the car haphazardly before crashing through the door; hurrying up to the property that I was supposed was 'home'. I fell to my knees, my chest heaving with tears that would never fall. My mind was screaming as memories crashed over me. Murky recollections of a golden-eyed beauty and haunting crystal clear images of five faces sporting an unnatural pallor and unseeing eyes. The hours I'd been free of the pain seemed to be making up for lost time as I was tormented by pictures from the past that consumed my present

Then my eyes fell upon the man I had despicably kicked aside before. He lay sprawled on the floor a couple of metres to my left, propped up by the bare white wall that was almost indistinguishable from his skin. His presence demanded some action on my part and I took a deep, unnecessary breath - determined not to wallow as I had been accused of doing - turning my thoughts from the past to the predicament that was my present.