"Before I started dating Leah, that's her name, I was living a somewhat normal life, I guess," Patrick starts, sighing and running a hand through his hair, biting his lip before starting again. He keeps his eyes on our hands the whole time, "I never went to college, don't really plan to, I'm perfectly fine with how I'm living currently, working as a waiter. I love making people smile, especially in the mornings, which I hate. The point is- nevermind-" Patrick shakes his head "-let me start over. After I graduated, I was free. From all the bullying that hung onto my shoulders since third grade or so. I moved out of that area of Chicago, and into this one. I landed a job at the café, got myself an apartment, I basically ditched my parents. They don't mind, though. They hardly paid attention to me during the time I lived there, we grew apart as I grew older. They never helped me with my breakdowns and figured it was just 'puberty'. Yeah. So about a couple months into me living here, I met Leah. Now, I never realized I was gay until we started dating. 'Cause I never dated anyone in school. Nobody really recognized my presence, which was okay unless I was being bullied. So I started dating Leah. I thought it was good for a while, we hung out, we had fun, this was for about three months. Then I started to realize- I don't really feel anything for her, at all. She always looked so happy being around me and looked at me in ways no one ever has before, except for you. Leah loved me so much, and I felt nothing. I started sinking into my depression even more. I felt awful. I was basically playing with her, she thought I was everything. But then when I came out to her, about a month before our one year anniversary, she was devastated. I couldn't handle myself-" He pauses, taking a deep breath, "-my depression got worse. She left, of course, to somewhere else, I think to Detroit. Leah loves the city. She was like my best friend, and then I threw her away like nothing. She told me- she said 'I thought I had something, Patrick. I thought you were real.' Before leaving. I don't blame her one bit. Why would you want to still be friends with someone you loved after they throw you away like you're nothing?" Patrick's eyes tear up and he lies his head on the table, "And now she's here, again. I can't stand facing her- I'm so scared."
I rub my face, taking a glance at Leah, who looks away quickly from staring at us. Her face holds anger. It scares me for Patrick. What could she be up to?
He lifts his head up again, and Leah grabs her laptop, throwing away her coffee cup and walking out the door. "I just- I have to apologize, I have to. I can't just leave someone like that. I thought it would blow over, I kept telling myself 'Patrick, it'll be okay. She'll get over it. Just let it disappear over time.' Yeah, sure. It's been eating me up ever since. I don't know what to do, Pete." Patrick looks at me, a sad look in his blue eyes.
I sigh, "You should apologize. You'll feel so much better, 'Trick." Yeah, it's the last thing I want though. The jealousy is still there. Even if Patrick is gay, and we're dating. She loved him, my Patrick. Nobody can love him as much as I do. I sound selfish, I know, but it's how I feel.
"I'm so scared to. I broke her, Pete," He looks out the window, eyes turning red from holding in tears.
"You apologize and you'll be done. We all make mistakes, and you can't fix it, but you can at least mend it," I rub my thumb over his hand in circles.
Patrick sighs and nods, "Okay. She used to come in every Monday, so next Monday is the time to do it. Will you be here?"
I hesitate, then nod slowly, "Yeah, of course." I smile.
He smiles, standing up, "Thanks so much Pete."
I stand up as well and we walk to my car, I drive him home and he invites me inside to stay for a bit. When I enter his apartment there are new articles of clothing strewn in some areas. "Hey! We just cleaned this up the other day."
"Sorry," Patrick blushes, hanging up his coat on the coat rack by the door, "I'm gonna change."
"Okay," I smile, watching him go to his room. Then I think mischievously and follow him quietly. He's standing in his closet shirtless, browsing the shirt rack.
I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around him, "Aha I got you!"
"Peeeeete!!" Patrick shrieks covering himself, "I don't have a shirt on."
"That's okay," I smile as he turns around, still covering himself. His face is red.
"No it's not . . ," He looks at me, and for the first time I realize how self conscious he is. I feel sort of bad but ignore it.
"You don't have to be ashamed around me, 'kay 'Trick?"
Patrick leans his head against my chest, looking down, " . . . okay." He whispers and wraps his arms around me. We stand like that for a while, and eventually I let Patrick finish changing, then we go to the couch and cuddle there while watching Return of the Jedi, Patrick's favorite.
I look over at him, on the edge of the couch, eyes wide, eating popcorn anxiously. And I smile, wrap my arms around him, and pull him in for a kiss. I laugh when he pauses the movie.
"Well I can't miss it now can I?" He mumbles between me kissing him.
"No, I guess not," I smile, looking down at his face.
- ight some peterick stuff to finish it up this book is gonna be so short haha
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
