We perform at clubs, first, then we move to festivals, then, we release our first album. Take This To Your Grave, it's called.
I've never been so busy.
But it's the good kind.
I can't really see much going on while I perform, 'cause I have to focus on the lyrics and all that, but I can always see Pete and Joe jamming out on their instruments, and sometimes Andy, but most of the time I see the fans.
There. Are. Hundreds.
I never thought we'd make it like this. We're getting more and more famous- hell we're gonna be celebrities.
We're in a van. No tour bus yet. Haven't made enough to get one. But it'll come. If we can keep coming up with ideas.
I don't know what to think anymore.
-
"Hey," Pete smiles at me, we're stopped somewhere, some city, I can't remember. I'm exhausted. Just finished a performance. He's leaning outside the van while Andy and Joe look around the gas station we're parked at. I haven't talked to Pete one-on-one in a while. It's always the four of us, together. It's not a bad thing, I just miss our time.
"Hi," I smile back and lean against the van with him.
"I'm exhausted. But I feel motivated to do something crazy. Right now," He says, looking over at me.
I look down at my boots, "Like what?"
Pete, being the insane person he is, grabs my hand and leads me to the back of the gas station. It's dark. The only lights are the ones above the gas tanks.
I can see everything. We're moving to the middle of a small field, where the grass grows to our torsos and the stars are just stars. They aren't dots in the sky. They're stars. Real, giant glowing balls of gas that make anything possible. The Milky Way glows above us. It's perfect. It's incredible. We stand there in silence, holding hands loosely, mostly our fingers. We stand there- drenched in sweat, dressed in skinny jeans that will take eons to peel off. We stand there in silence while watching a couple shooting stars go bye. I don't wish. I watch. And it's breathtaking.
Eventually, Pete looks over at me. I look back at him. The cliché is unbearable. I almost laugh out loud. You can guess what happens next- no, actually you can't.
"I don't think I'm ready," The Emo King says quietly.
"I'm never ready," I reply quietly.
"It's okay, though. You know why?"
"Why?"
" 'Cause we're gonna make it big. That's why. I'm not ready, but we're gonna do it. We're gonna make more music. We're gonna get married. We're gonna have more fans. Big concerts with flashing lights and music that makes people cry and scream and want to thank us because we've saved their lives."
"That sounds alright," I smile. I can't see him, but I know it's his lips when they touch mine. He holds my face gently, and I give in. I don't care anymore. I have Pete- that's all I need. I have Joe and Andy and our fans. I have everything I need. I don't care.
As long as I'm happy. That's all that matters.
- that's a wrap. go read something else.
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