Destined: A Markiplier Love Story

Live to Forget

 
  It has already been months and Mark and I have decided to go home finally. We had things to do and Mark wasn't getting enough videos up since he's been here. We traded farewells and got into the flying machine that took Mark and I miles away from what we called our second home.

I sat by the window of the plane as per usual and popped in my ear buds. I cried silently listening to Spanish Sahara by Foals knowing deep in my heart that I missed them already.
It felt like my soul and mind was left in Ireland and leaving that glorious place made me empty once again. The only thing holding me here on earth with Mark was a single thick, steel, cable wire that if cut, could send me off into another dimension of suffering.

Mark never noticed the water that fell over my ice cheeks which was good. I wanted him to see me happy and not upset like usual. My tears and sadness were a broken clock that fell whenever because they couldn't tell when the time was right to caress my porcelain walls that showed. I had officially fallen down the endless rabbit hole.
No I didn't just fall in. I was furiously pushed into that abyss by every heart crushing event that had happened in my life. Everything that has happened was one major push more into that hole that was calling my name.
First, what I did to Mark; which not to mention I deserved a push for. Then it was my unusual eating habits that seemed to correspond with my last that I also deserved a big shove for. Now the death of a child who nevertheless didn't deserve to be taken shortly and having to leave Ireland behind after it all. I was sick of feeling this way. I was sick of the world treating me like rotten mush deep in the soil under the crust of the earth everyone walks upon...

Then it hit me then and there.

This was my fault. I needn't blame the universe for the karma I simply deserved. I hurt Mark in the worst way possible. I deserve to have every bad thing hit me like an icy hot slap in the face. I did something that I promised I wouldn't let happen and its just a slippery slope of pain from there. That was the day my tears no longer fell from my bloodshot, stung eyes. That was the day I decided that this hurt is without love.

Pain.

Utter pain.