ONCE HE GAVE HIS BREATHE TO SAVE HIS LIFE. NOW THE TURN WAS HER. SHE GAVE HER BLOOD TO SAVE HIS LIFE. THEIR LIFE EXCHANGED. THE LIFE SHE WAS BREATHING IN, WAS HIS AND THE LIFE HIS VEIN WAS CIRCULATING WAS HER.
#26 IN SPIRITUAL. HIGHEST RANK TILL NOW...
Shivam banged inside his room. The feeling of frustration, agony killing him eventually. Shivam was confused about his feelings. His heart was heavy. Even, it was being heavier with passing seconds. What leaded him this much restlessness? Why he couldn't concern treat on anything? That was what, which stopped Shivam's anger towards her? He was too concern for her. Why? She was the same girl who ruined his life, his family's reputation right? Then, why he couldn't hate her? Why she was still in his life? Why she was being an unsolved mystery for him?
'' I just want answers '' he shouted holding his head. Being this much frustrated, he was punishing himself. He knew that but those unsolved mystery pousani had created was killing him.
He searched every wrong place for these answers but never searched within himself. All answers were there. It was just like that, he was searching for it before the time. He just needed to keep calm n wait for the right time to come.
-----NEXT DAY-----
''50,000... it's a very big amount. Everything is okay, right?'' asked one of his colleague.
''everything is good. I just need it urgently.'' Shivam chirped without looking at him. He was too busy keeping the amount in his bag.
''still, if I can help you?'' he sounded concerned.
'' no thanks'' he smiled brightly. There was a new kind of satisfaction in that smile. He didn't know what to do. he was just doing the thing he was supposed to do.
'' auto..'' he shouted for an auto. No auto came instant. He needed to wait, as he was no more owner of a bike.
'' town court'' he asked to an auto as it stopped near him.
''ni saheb'' the auto wala replied politely. He sighed. It was 12 pm of the day n he needed to reach the court before 1 pm.
'' sorry sir, you can't pay this'' the officer in black court chirped. Shivam's expression changed instant. He leaned towards the desk. His face became red. No, he was not that short temre gye, I was that he was losing the focal point over his patience. It was lucidly showing that he was controlling his anger. He closed his eyes then chirped with forcefully calmed voice '' I did all the things, you told me to do, Now what remained?''
''mr poul, have you informed us that you have applied for divorce? ''
Shivam looked at the divorce paper inside the file. The paper had his sign as well her. He looked away with annoyance. No matter how badly he was trying to get rid of the situation, the situation is not ready to leave him. Every effort he put had side effect. He did not know what was going on in his life. He just knew that he was losing himself. The calmness he used to have was no more left inside him. He had lost all the peace of his life. Helplessly, he sat on nearby chair. He was all alone in that battle. There was no support, no advice, and no motivator. How could he win the battle? Why he did not have all these? Like every person, he also wanted all these, then why he was all alone in the crucial point of his life? Didn't he deserve all this?
'' sir, are you fine?'' the officer asked.
Shivam came out from his world. He looked at him innocently. He was looking like a west indies cricket player. He avoided those silly thoughts. ''can I have some time?'' he asked innocently.
'' sure, you have one hour as I am going for lunch. Meet me here by 2 pm'' the officer said. Shivam left the place instantly as soon he could n ran to a church nearby. It the most peaceful place of world. He knew that was the only place where his inner turmoil will rest n he will get his all answers.
As Shivam went there, his frustrations went away. The peaceful place changed his world for some time. he felt divine in his heart.
'' God please'' two words he could utter that day. He was so helpless to say further. The thing he performed that day was just gave away himself to the almighty. That's all, he got all the answers. All the answers were inside him for those he was searching since months. As the sacred airstream of church surrounded him, his interior radiance alleviated. He felt his mind getting light. His body felt nothing. The natural peace stabled inside his heart as his soul meet the person whom he had lost before. The person was his mother.
', maa'' his lip uttered. The voice had so much pain. Tears rolled down from his closed eyes. People say men are supposed not to cry. But why? They doesn't have emotions or their way of express those, different? Or else, no one have the capacity to bring out those emotions except a woman. The answer can be whatever. However, there is a fact that, every man has those women in their life that has that capability. They can bring every emotion on their face. Mother is one of those women. You can't escape from her eyes, Neither your hungry stomach nor your untold feelings.
''I miss you, maa'' his voice was heavy n chocked. The wedge in his voice was making it imprecise. '' I miss you too'' he felt her hand on his hair. It was so soothing. More tear flew down.
''please come back. I am miserable. None is here to support me to motivate me. I am all alone. Please come back. I need your advice. I need your motivation. I need you. Please come back or else take me with you. Please'' his voice had those pain he never expressed before. All questions were defining themselves in his voice. He felt his cheek caressed. The touch was similar n soothing. He looked up like a kid. It was her mothers's hand.
''everyone has a time limitation that we need to complete in the world we belong to. I have completed mine. Neither I can come there nor can you come here. You need to live the time you have blessed with.''
'' but how maa, how can I live here without support. I am all alone in this battle. Even I don't know for what I am struggling? I just need you'' it seemed he was so feeble n he was there just to surrender himself.
''how can you get support when you are struggling for a supporter? How can someone advice you to choose your adviser? How can someone motivate you to get your motivator? You have to struggle alone in the battle of life. The struggle is for not to be alone anymore. Give away all the things you need to. Risk completely. Have faith on your faith. Your faith will give the thing you are struggling for.'' Her words came as blessing for him. His inside filled with courage. He felt delightful. As he opened his eyes, everything was like before he closed his eyes. But there was an only change that he knew then what he would do. He again closed his eyes n thanked God n his mother.
