Scarlet's Diary

Part 9- Walking in the rain

20th November, Wednesday, 2013

I can't believe this. :( Yesterday, Jordan asked me out for Starbucks and I agreed. (sort of) then when we were at Starbucks he confessed; he told me he likes me or something like that. Then I told him I don't like him and I told him I like Blaze and I looked away and he... kissed me? Such violation.

Anyways, I jerked away and then he left, I looked towards the direction of the door and guess who I saw? Blaze. Out of all the people. He was literally staring at me with a hurtful expression plastered on his face. I can't help but feel like a jerk. I can't believe this thing is actually happening! Well, I chased after him, (duh) and I held onto his hand. I was literally begging him not to go. But then he led go of my hand. And walked away. I just couldn't control my feelings and my eyes got sweaty. So did the sky.

I had to make my way home, under the rain. Alone. It was horrible. I was so thankful I wore a shirt inside and not a tanktop. But my sneakers got wet and so did my socks. It made me feel so uncomfortable. But nothing is more uncomfortable than Blaze ignoring me. Right?

When I reached home I didn't even say I'm home or anything like that. I just walked up the stairs and paid extra attention on the booming of thunder surrounding me. I went for a bath and turned the temperature of the water as high as possible so that; 1- I won't catch a cold and 2- it can ease my tensed muscles. When I'm finally done with my bath I threw some clothes on and sat on my bed with my laptop on my thighs. I watched an entire hour of family guy and failed to even smile the entire hour.

Why does he even care as much? I'm not even his girlfriend... If he cared, that meant I mattered to him, right? So I sent him a text because I was a coward and I was afraid to call; hello, it's Scar.

There wasn't a reply so I just stared at my phone; and waited for a reply. He didn't reply until this morning and when I checked my inbox I was so upset I wanted to cry:

Blaze-

Bye.

So I typed, can you not. It's not like it mattered. I merely went out with Jordan. Don't make such a huge fuss out of this. Then I sent it. There was an instant reply:

Blaze-

Huge fuss? He kissed you! I saw!

I don't know why but anger started to build up in me and I typed, so what if he kissed me? It's not like it mattered to you! It wasn't even me who told him to kiss me. He just kissed me all of a sudden! I swear okay! Beside, we're not even together! Then there was no reply and I checked the time and realised it was time to go to school. I did my morning routine and went to school.

I didn't see him in my class today but I saw him in school. (like in other classes that I'm not in) He's like avoiding me! I feel so upset, gosh. Why is he doing this? Then Jordan saw me sitting alone and he came to sit next to me. So I smiled and said hi because it was basic courtesy. And get this: Blaze was just walking by. And he saw. Gosh!! This misunderstanding is going to get worse espacially when Blaze doesn't want to listen!

I asked Jordan why he kissed me and he didn't reply. That was when it crossed my mind, could he be trying to break Blaze and I up? If not, why would he kiss me when he knew Blaze was looking? (he was sitting to the direction of the door) Then I asked him and he's like, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Gosh, I am so frustrated. If I were to date Blaze, I reckon the relationship wouldn't go well since the friendship is already busted.

     - Fox :'(