Hearing Sirens

Walking Backwards

"Gray, wake up, it's time for school,"

Gray opened his eyes and turned over to an alarm clock that laid near his bed. The time was seven thirty in the morning, and still had not gone off. His alarm always went off at seven fifteen, it wasn't like him to forget to set it.

He laid on his back and took in the boating poster that was tacked to his ceiling. Even while in the moment, it felt as though he hadn't seen that poster in years. He thought about the dream he had awakened from and couldn't comprehend how it felt so real. It was as though he had been thrown back in time, by some unknown force.

His feet finally were able to hit the cold floor as he stood up to get ready. The smell of a sausage skillet cooking in the kitchen grasped on to his olfactory senses as he breathed in heavily. His stomach felt oddly sick but he tried to ignore it; after all nightmares can do that to a person. Pressing down the feeling,  he walked out the door and in to the hallway that led to the place where his mother spent her mornings; the place where the smell grew stronger.

There she stood in front of a stove. Her short but curly brown hair just managed to meet her shoulders with its bouncy energy. She was in her black and red, silk housecoat, just as she was every other morning. She had Celtic tunes playing loudly from the stereo as she swayed back and forth in front of her food. This was a normal morning, however deep down Gray felt a sense of sadness, like it wasn't normal "that" morning.

"Sit down silly," his mother laughed as she turned around to face him. Her blue eyes glimmering from the sun slipping through the window. Seeing her face made tears attempt to escape his eyes but he held back.

" Gray? What's wrong? Is everything okay?" she asked him as she sat a plate of sausage, eggs, and hash browns on the table in front of him. "You aren't even dressed yet."

Gray took a second to gather his thoughts before pulling out the chair and sitting in it. He wanted to respond to his mother but found himself thinking deeply instead. How old was he? What grade was he in? What day even was it? Frustration over came him as he stabbed his food with a fork.

"Gray! Answer me," his mother pushed.

He looked up at her and gulped.

"I had a weird dream last night. A dream I was older and married to a beautiful woman named Darcy. Then I woke up from the dream in my dream and I was tied up near a cave pool. There was a thing, a mermaid like thing, she sang this song," he paused to look at his mother cracking a grin.

"I was just a dream," she assured him.

"I know," he responded. "But, I woke up, confused."

His mother sat down at the table with him and looked at his face concerned.

"What do you mean by confused?" she asked him.

Gray tried really hard once again to think about what was going on. Then, upon looking at his mother one more time, a pain struck him deep in his gut. He stood up from where he sat and reached over the table, touching her face with his hand. His mother didn't flinch, but instead began to cry herself. Tears poured down from his eyes as he ran over to her and hugged her without thought.

She had been dead for years, in fact, the day he awoke was the day she passed away. Except this time she knew it. The feeling of her touch was haunting as she breathed under his grasp. He held on as if to save her from the impending doom. As he did, her breathing began to speed up. He grabbed her head and pulled it closer to him.

"Mom," he cried to her.

Trying to wake up from his new nightmare he let go and grabbed ahold of the burning element behind him. The pain shot from his hand up his arm, giving him his refusal for escape. He then jumped in to another action, trying to save what he had in that moment.

Quickly he pulled his mother off the chair as she latched on to her chest. He threw her arm over his shoulder as she began coughing and begging for air. As he was carrying her, he took a moment to glance in to a mirror beside their front door. He was sixteen, he was in high school, and he was reliving his mothers death. There she was, sprawled over his shoulder again. The one day he prayed regularly to forget.

As he exited the door he laid his mother on the ground and screamed for help. He attempted to remember his training as a sailor. The training he had to save lives. Yet in that moment, the moment his struggling mother laid on the grass in immense suffering, he couldn't remember anything past that day. He could barely collect his thoughts on being on the ocean or if he ever had.

Screaming for help, he found his voice growing raspy. He heard someone yell from a nearby yard saying they were going to call an ambulance. The words went over his head as he sat there completely helpless. He was given a second chance, yet had no means to use it.

He looked down at his mother who was now laying silently. He felt his chest warm up but was still very numb. Then, like some sort of hallucination, blood began to seep out of the corner of her mouth as her eyes rolled back. He turned his head to the slightest to ignore the sight, but when he did she grabbed his hand.

"You let me die, Gray," she whispered. "Again,"

Before he could fully turn his head he felt her grasp loosen. With a quiet thump it hit the ground for the last time. When he was able to look over, she was gone. An empty feeling in his heart came back, one that hadn't been there in years. He got back up on his feet as he felt the wind blow through his hair.

"Son, are you alright?" he heard a man shout from his right.

Without looking Gray walked back inside completely emotionless. He sat down on a couch that was conveniently placed in his living room and rested his face in his hands. He knew it couldn't be real, but it hurt so much.

"Why are you doing this to me? What did I do?" he cried out. He felt his hands trembling under the severe pressure of his muscles. His head grew heavy as he suffered through the darkness that settled over him.

"Why not," he heard a woman's voice reply coldly. "You miss her right?"

Angrily Gray threw his fist down and stood up. He felt his nails dig into his skin.

"Who are you!?" he yelled loudly. "How do you know me so well?"

"Would you like to meet me?" the voice questioned. "I'd love for you to meet me."

Without a reply, Gray's old home disappeared from around him.  The feelings of loss stuck with him as if it was the first time it happened. He looked down at his hand which went from young to older and scarred from fishing ropes. Slowly he felt his brain fall away for a second before he was back in the cave from before, this time the cave was a dome though, the only way out being through the top. He checked his body over and realized quickly it was no longer tied up.

Panic struck through him as he ran towards the nearest wall he could. With no place to put his feet, he began clawing at the wall with force. Nothing was happening as desperation took over. He began hitting the wall, however with his third punch he felt someone holding his hand back. He whipped around to hit the person, but when he did a soul wrenching attraction overtook him.

She was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen.