Friends With Benefits (A Sidemen Fanfiction)

17

I sat against the wall in the hallway, my knees to my chest and my face in my knees. Liv was in the bathroom, looking at the test. I was so scared. I had wondered if I was pregnant for a week, but always denied it. But now....I couldn't. I couldn't just ignore it. Another sob escaped me and I tried again to control them. There was no doubt Liv could hear me on the other side of the bathroom door. I didn't care. It was just Liv. The bathroom door opened, but I couldn't bring myself to stand up, so I just looked up at her, swallowing anymore sobs that longed to come out. I wiped my tears for what seemed like the billionth time that night and she leaned against the wall, sliding down to sit beside me. "You're pregnant, Mackenzie." She said, holding out the test to me. As much as I had already known, deep down, that I was pregnant, it took a minute for this information to register in my mind. But once it did, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. I couldn't move. "I promise it will all be okay. We can talk it all out and we'll find out what to do. You can quit your job. I can pay all the bills wi-" "What about JJ?" I interrupted her. My voice was hoarse and it cracked, but she understood me. She sighed. "You can tell him tomorrow." She suggested. "I don't want to quit my job. I can't let you pay everything on your own. That's too much, Liv." I said, feeling tears form in my eyes once again. I closed my eyes and rested my head on my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs and hugging them close to me. "We'll figure it all out, I promise. It's all going to be okay and it will all work itself out." She cooed softly in my ear, putting an arm over my shoulders and pulling me close to her. We stayed like that in silence for fuck knows how long. I eventually pulled away, running my eyes with shaky hands. "I'm sorry." I mumbled, my voice barely whispering. "Oh Kenz, there's nothing you need to be sorry about. I'm actually kind of excited. I know you're scared shitless about it all and I know it's not the time but I'm excited." She said. I could hear the smile on her face, but I didn't look at her. So, we sat there for a little while longer in the dimly lit hall in complete silence. I looked up at the clock that hung on the wall. It was getting a bit late. Neither of us had work tomorrow, as it was Sunday, but I was still knackered from crying my eyes out. "I think I'm going to go try and sleep." I said, standing up with tired and shaky legs. Liv stood up as well, bringing me into a hug. "I love you, okay? And I always will. No matter what. Remember that." She said. "Yeah yeah. I love you too." I said, rolling my eyes. I went to the last door in the hallway and plopped down on my bed. Just in time to see my phone light up. When I looked at it, I realized I had about a dozen texts and missed calls from JJ.

JJ:
Simon told me you were crying. Everything alright? xxx

JJ:
Mackenzie please answer. You're making me worried. xxx

JJ:
Mackenzie! Answer your fucking phone! xx

JJ:
Please!!!

I sighed as I quickly replied to him, telling him that I was okay and that I was going to sleep so he would stop blowing up my phone. I didn't check my phone after that, and just decided to sleep. Sleep was what I needed.

•••

I began pacing nervously. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. JJ was on his way here. And I, with Liv's help, was going to tell him the big news. I was petrified of doing so. This could be the end of JJ and I's relationship. Or friendship even, because we never really were in a relationship. My feelings have never even wavered once, but he didn't feel the same way, so I didn't say anything and now I really had no choice but to tell him. I was going to tell him everything. I would tell him that I liked him. A lot. And that I was so scared to tell him that. And I would tell him I was pregnant and I was literally shaking at the thought of just saying the word out loud. Let alone to him. Pregnant. The doorbell sounded and I froze, being unable to move. "Kenz. Go." Liv said, throwing a pillow at me. I began chew my nails, my lip too chapped to be chewed on anymore. JJ frowned at me as I opened the door. "You look terrible." He mumbled as he wrapped me in his arms. "Well I feel terrible so." I shrugged, closing the door behind him after we pulled away from our short hug and he walked in. I felt as if I would puke as I walked to the living room and sat down on the separate couch from Liv. JJ followed me. "Sup Liv." He nodded at her, smiling as he sat down. I took this short moment to memorize his smile. For this could be the last time I would see it. Once he sat down he looked at me and waited. He knew I had something to tell him. Not beside I had told him so but just because he knew I was upset yesterday. "JJ, I'm sorry," I started, feeling a lump form in my throat. I swallowed it, shaking my head as he looked at me questioningly. "I...I'm pregnant."