I can't explain the fear I have in my heart. In few minutes, my baby will come out.
"Relax, Mara" pagpapalakas ni Mama ng loob ko.
"Ma, natatakot po ako" umiiyak na sabi ko. Mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ni Mama sa kamay ko.
Yumuko si Mama para halikan ang noo ko. "Practice nalang tayo ng breathing technique" she encouraged me.
Sumunod naman ako sa Mama ko. Mapapaaga ang pag-labas ng baby namin kaya mas malaki ang takot ko.
After five hours of labor, hindi pa din ako ready. The doctors said that the baby needs to come out or else... oh, I don't want to think of the worse. Baka mapatay ko lang si Quintin.
After some tests and observations, the doctor decided that I'll be undergoing cesarean section.
I am praying hard while they are preparing the delivery room for me.
"Laban lang, Mara." Mama said with a smile.
I tried to smile back. "Si Quintin po?" I asked.
Hinaplos ni Mama ang buhok ko. "Sabihin nalang natin sa kanya kapag nakalabas na ang baby. Mag-aalala pa 'yon"
I simply nodded. Everybody think for his welfare. How about me? I think it will be easier if I have him beside me. Iyon din naman ang usapan namin. Para saan pa na naging asawa ko s'ya kung wala s'ya sa tabi ko para suportahan ako sas pagsilang ko sa panganay namin?
But I shouldn't worry about his irresponsibility now. I am willing to forgive him, as long as the baby is safe and sound.
'Pagtapos kong maturukan ng pampatulog ay hindi ko na alam. I can hear faint voices around me. I can slightly feel the pain. I am aware that the world around me is spinning. I am asleep but I can feel the cut on my skin. And before I stopped hearing things around me, the most beautiful melody played. I heard her cry.
I don't know if it showed, but my heart is smiling upon hearing her first sound. The cry of my baby.
My Quilla Alexis.
_____________________
September 08, 2016 (Thursday) - 07:22
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