I can feel your heart beat.. (Justin Bieber) *werewolf*

..when I feel like giving up..

I can feel your heart beat..when I feel like giving up..*werewolf*

Day 15 of Month 09

The white color before me seemed to change right before my very eyes. It was all just the one color but it seemed like it would change into a different white each time I blinked. The pain became unbearable with each time I touched a part of my skin. The color white was cold. It made me shiver. Cold was what I felt. Pain is what I'm feeling, but hurt over-powers all of my feelings. It felt like I had a heart made of stone. When you held it, it became warm and slightly soft, but when you let it fall..it would crack .Ever day I could hear the crack in my heart become worse and worse, deeper and deeper. 

My skin was the color of white, almost as white as snow. But that white snow didn't cover even half of my skin, not even a third. Purple and blue seemed to cover it all. Well, what it could cover. I winced tracing along my shoulder blade, there was the worse. Where ever my body held the most pressure seemed to be the worse. My feet for example. I can't risk a glance to look at them without feeling the need to cry. 

I shivered as I traced my cold, white fingers along my hip bone. Bones, they're all I seemed to see. You could see my ribs through all my clothes so I refused to leave my room, but when I did? All I would wear were a pair of sweatpants and an old sweater he had left here. Even thinking about him brought tears to my eyes. His soft, golden brown hair that was just calling me to run my hands through, his beautiful, captivating caramel brown eyes, his cute button nose and his plump pink lips..

I could feel myself lick my own just thinking about him.

I traced my fingers underneath my normally bright brown eyes, but now they were just brown and lifeless. Large bags hung below them, making my eyes burn as a new found tear escaped. I traced over my newly found cheek bones in an attempt for some happiness to spread through my body but found none of it. I felt nothing, lifeless, worthless.

I looked un naturally skinny. I didn't look healthy, but when have I ever looked healthy this week?

I sighed staring back at my reflection threw the cold, glass mirror as the water from the steaming hot bath I was preparing ran. I stood in my white tank top and shorts as my cold blooded fingers felt the water. 

Even the steaming hot water did nothing to heat up my body as I lay down in the bath, letting the water engulf me. I held my breath as my face had found it's way under water and closed my eyes tight. I didn't want my life to end this way, but I'd rather end my worthless life here on earth then be stuck around to watch a war that has not yet begun. I'm pretty sure that when the word gets out that I've passed away hell will break loose. I knew he loved me, heck I know he loves me, but if this ishis way of showing it, then I can't handle it.

I felt sadness take over my body as I began to feel light headed. Even though I know it's impossible, I felt a tear escape my eye. My chest was burning from the crying of my inner wolf, it's wails made all of this even harder. 

I kept my eyes shut, letting memories play back in my mind. I smiled remembering when I first met Mandy and Christian, they made my life turn from a living hell to almost great. All those times I cried myself to sleep stopped and all those Sunday afternoons alone were filled. My mind flickered back to when I first met my friend. He also helped me escape the pain..but he also caused it. He moved away when I needed him most. It's like he left me out on a battlefield with no shield. It's like henever cared..

When he left, he took a piece of my heart with him. A piece of my heart, I never thought would be returned, a piece I had been missing before I met him, and the minute he showed up, it had grew. That piece I never thought I would get back. That was until I met.. Justin. It's like he broke off a piece of his own, and gave it to me. It's like my heart was full again. 

Just thinking about him brought tears to my eyes. 

I heard a faint knocking coming from the door, but with every second I lay silent, the knocking became louder. It had to have been Mandy or Christian because the knocking and banging was sopower full, that the hinges on the door began to shake. I shook my head, trying to sink in deeper towards the water. I didn't want them to see me like this, not now, not ever. 

"Sam!" I heard Mandy cry. That only made the hole in my heart deeper. I needed to get this done and over with. "Don't do this Sam!" I heard her whimper from outside the door. God! Take me now! 

'Don't do this..' 

A sudden bolt of energy took me away from my train of thought. I suddenly had the strength to move. I opened my eyes wide as I sat up from the water, coughing in the process. My breathing was heavy as the sweet, innocent smell filled my nostrils. 

The smell I fell in love with.

The smell that gets me through the day.

The smell I adore.

My tank top clung to my body from the water as my heart began beating rapidly from inside my chest. That was the first time I had heard his voice in a week. I could feel myself melt inside from his affect on me. It sent shivers down my spine. 

I heard his soft angelic whispers from outside the door, causing me to stand up straight and sprint outside the door. I quickly opened it, snapping my head from side to side frantically causing the remains of the water from my hair to fly every where. My eyes landed on Mandy who's eyes were blood shot and swollen. She was biting her knuckle, breathing heavily . Something she does when she's nervous.

"Where is he?" I questioned looking around. She shrugged looking down at her feet.

"I don't know what you're talking about." she mumbled. I felt my whole body tense up, as my hands turned into fists. My body began to shake uncontrollably as I took a step forward. 

"You know BLOODY damn well where he is." I growled, taking another step forward. She seemed to catch my drift as she took a step back, putting her hands up in defense. I felt my body lunge forward but I quickly fell to the ground in pain, as the familiar feeling returned. I felt myself sweat, as my head pounded. I groaned when my stomach began to do flips and my legs became unbearably sore. "Why?" I whispered to no one in particular as my body moved in an un natural way. My eyes widened in shock as I heard a loud cracking noise, pain increasing in my neck area. My eyes grew heavy, as I fell into a deep sleep.. the last thing I could hear was my heart beat and his beautiful voice..

'I can feel your heart beat..' his soft angelic voice sang