The Professor

Chapter 10

Eva's POV
After my amazing time with Colin the other night, I was eccentric this morning when I was getting ready for class. I can't wait to share discrete glances with him during class. I can't wait to share that connection that we felt across the room without anyone else knowing. I even put on my favorite outfit just for him-my signature, blue skinny jeans, black and white striped tee, and Sperry's. I couldn't focus in any of my other classes, all I could think about was him. His beautiful face, his gleaming, hazel eyes, his light brown hair that tumbled over his forehead carelessly. But it wasn't just his looks that magnetized me to him. It was his wisdom;his beautiful words and philosophies and the way we could understand what the other was saying by sharing a glance.
As if the hour couldn't come fast enough, it finally arrived. Just walking to Colin's class made me develop a skip in my step and a renewed sense of happiness in my life that I hadn't discovered until now. I walked in and found a seat close to the middle of the room so that Colin and I could see each other clearly. Other students started to fill in the rest of the seats and soon, Colin walked in as well. When he did, I smiled wide and stared at him as he walked to his desk and placed his briefcase on top. He was silent for a few moments until he started talking about murder victims. I was hanging on to his every word and trying to get him to look at me but he never did. It's as if he sensed where I was in the room and made a point of avoiding the area. At one point in class, he needed a volunteer for a demonstration and I was the only one with my hand raised. He decided to choose a different student. This routine went on for the next few days until I'd finally had enough-I decided to talk to him.
"Colin, why have you been avoiding me?" I asked directly.
He looked away for a second and closed his eyes. He did that when he was thinking.
"Eva, as much as it pains me to say it, I don't think we should see each other anymore."
When those words left his mouth, I couldn't comprehend if he was serious or not. My mind was trying to find itself because I was currently losing it. Tears were brought to my eyes and my mouth finally let me form words.
"Is it because I'm a virgin? Was I bad in bed? You could have just told me!" By this point, the tears were flowing down my cheeks.
"Eva, of course not! That is not what this is about. It's about our ages. Even though I'm one to not mind a few years in difference, we are 36 years different in age. The university would never respect us again. It pains me to do this, you have no idea how much I appreciate you." He started to form tears in his eyes even though he told me he never cries.
"Why do you care what other people think?" I asked.
"It matters what other people think when it comes to my profession."
"Why did you lead me on like this if you knew it wasn't going to go far?" I whispered, barely audible.
"I wasn't trying to lead you on, I just never considered our ages until now. With Livia and I, it was only a 6 year difference but ours is 36!" He shouted.
It took me a while to think up how I should respond.
"Well, if that's how you feel, thank you for telling me now before I fall even more in love with you."
Colin was looking at his feet before I said the L word. Then, he abruptly looked at me.
"Eva.."
With that, I knew he didn't feel the same way. How could I have let myself get so deep?! He was my first love and I did not want to let him go! But I couldn't force him to feel the way I did. With that, I ran out of the room and to my dorm, all while tears flowed down my face.