Girls Don't Cry | The Outsiders

Twelve

I stopped by the Curtis' a couple times a week to check on Ponyboy. I never went in to see him personally, but I always made sure that Darry and Sodapop knew I was there for them if they needed anything.

On Tuesday, he finally woke up. I didn't go over to see him. Mama and I were having a rough time at home and Arnie had gotten a job so he was working most of the day. Greg and Claire were still in school. Claire was an art prodigy and Greg was a genius in math. I was really proud of them for staying smart even through living in the situation we were all in. I had high hopes for them.

On Wednesday, just before going to work, my mom called me into her room.

"Candice," she said, laying on her side in bed and in the dark.

"What is it, Mama?" I asked.

"C-Can you get me a glass of water?" she said.

"Yeah." I returned a minute later and handed her the glass.

"I want you to promise me you're gonna go back to school."

"Mom, we already talked about this. I told you I was gonna go back."

"Come here," she said. I kneeled down beside her bed. "Don't be like me when you become a mom."

"I'm already a mom," I grinned. The look she gave me was priceless. "I meant for Greg and Claire."

"I'm sorry I'm such a terrible parent--"

"You're not. At least you love us."

She nodded. "You should go to work. You'll be late."

"Okay. I'll be home later."

I left her and headed out.

Work went smoothly that night. We got a few customers, all of them regulars. Once the kitchen closed, I got to work cleaning the ovens and all the pans and things.

At nine, I hung up my apron and threw away my gloves and hairnet. I said goodbye to Amy and Brad and slid on my coat and clocked out.

Stepping outside into the cool night air, I couldn't help but feel both at war and at peace with myself. I was happy, yet I was sadder than I'd ever been in my life. I couldn't figure out why I felt this way. To be tranquil and yet to be somehow wild all at once. I thought about how Johnny was happy now and Dallas was, too. I thought about my mother and how she was coming to the end of her journey through life. I thought about how, even though I was sixteen-almost-seventeen, I was just beginning mine.

As I passed by the Curtis', I wondered very briefly if I should stop in and say hello, but ultimately decided against it. They needed each other right now and I didn't want to intrude. I had no business there at the moment, anyway. I continued walking toward my house.

It was a week later when Ponyboy started to feeling better. I offered to testify in court, since I was jumped with Johnny a few months back, but Darry told me not to worry about it. He knew I had enough going on and I told him that I didn't mind but he was adamant. He was real appreciative that I offered, but I knew he was right about there being enough for me to worry about.

When I found out Ponyboy had been acquitted, I nearly jumped for joy. He and Soda would get to continue to live with Darry and everything could go back to normal.

Except it didn't go back to normal.

Ponyboy had trouble in school and stuff and he was here, there, and everywhere.

Dallas Winston wasn't there to give anyone a hard time.

Johnny Cade wasn't there to give an ear to listen.