Build Me Up, Hold Me Down

There is a God!

Dominic's POV:

(December 15th, 2010)

My mind was racing a mile a mintute. I couldn't even fake and say that I wasn't nervous because a nigga was sweating bullets. I was in the back of the court room, in the holding cell waiting for my case to be called.

All I could do was ask that GOD have mercy on my soul and I promised that I would never fuck up again if he got me out of this.

I know I sound like a typical person who only prays when shit gets rough but that wasn't the case. I believed in GOD and I knew that he wasn't too proud of the shit I was doing but I always made sure I thanked him for sparing me my life because a nigga could have been 6ft under by now.

~~~

I know I ain't kill them two niggas that they were trying to pin on me but that doesn't stop the thoughts that cross your mind.

Am I guilty?

I asked myself. I was guily of so much shit in my life so the answer to that question was a giving. I may not have been guilty to this crime but I was guilty.

I was guilty of living a life that I knew I had no business living, I was guilty of putting the streets before anything else, I was guilty for the black mask and the gun I used to rob people, I was guilty for all the babies I could have fathered but let my own selfishness get in the way but lastly, I was guilty for knowing all of this but I still didn't make a effort to change.

Yall think I want to be doing this shit? True enough it's fast money but all money ain't good money. I could have been something but I fucked up.

Me, Dominic Jayseon Brown, fucked up.

~~~

I don't know why a nigga was thinking like this but I guess it was the fact that I was coming to the reality that I could possibly be facing life in imprisoned confinement.

It was a possibility that I would never get to see my family again or even start one of my own.

Mom dukes needed me, my lil brothers needed me and Nischia needed me.

How could I possibly leave them?

I questioned but I didn't have time to answer because my name was called.

"State of Virginia V.S. Dominic brown"

It's in your hands now....

I spoke before the bailiff came and got me to escort me into the court room.

~~~

I don't know why I was looking but part of a nigga wanted to look up and see Nischia sitting in the pews. I know there was nobody to let her know what was going on but it still didn't mean a nigga didn't have hope.

Dukes was sitting a couple rows behind me with my sister shae and guess who else...

Angel

When I saw her, thoughts of what she had written in her letter to me came to mind. I couldn't understand what was wrong with this bitch but I was going to let it go for now.

"Goodmorning your honor" My lawyer, Anthony Davidson spoke, taking me away from my thoughts.

"Goodmorning Mr.Davidson, how does your client wish to plead" the judge asked.

He was a white older man with glasses and snow white hair. I knew him from people telling me that he was one of them judges who gave out years just to get muthafuckas out of his face.