Letting Go

chapter 3

A/n: short notice. Ill update as many as i can this week. Ill put some twists with the plot. I will not change any of the previous chaps. Hope you will like it.

Yanna's POV

I woke up still not better. I cant see clear images because of my swollen eyes. It's been my third day of not attending my class. I havent go downstairs since the first day. Tita tess just kept on sending food in my room. I just take the water and kept ignoring the food. I havent seen mom since the last time we talked but tita tess told me that mom got her business meeting with my grandma in new york and she'll be back this afternoon. I know that my mom is the one who keeps bugging tita tess to send me foods. I know that mom is already worried about me and i bet she is going to confront me later when she got home.

Ive been open to my mom since i was a kid and this is the first time i havent told her things. I know she was dying to go home asap but grandma wont let her. Grandma is strict yet a sweet kind of person. She believes that, in order to be organize, you must seperate the business from personal things. If that personal is something like what i am experiencing, then let it wait, give that a person a space, space that would make her able to breath but not larger as if you dont care cause posibly that person might broke down. A space for that person to think. Those are like the words  that grandma said to me before.

I made up my mind. This is for everyone's good. I have decided. This might be that early but i know this would be the best after all. 

Sana Evangelista, Krizela Martinez and Clarence Asuncion, they were my childhood friends. Ren was really my bestfriend before but it turned like into mess when he and his family migrated into London when we were 5. He just got back few months ago and also the same time we got revived our communication. We've been chatting for almost 7 months and after it he became cold for already a month. No replies but just kept on seening my messages. And there i got! Sana and Zela been here with me. Never leave unless random vacations or what. But now? :(  I feel so lonely and alone. I got empty. Questions are kept on bugging but i dont have any idea to answer it.

Few hours ago, mom nd i have talk already. I already share tose things to her. And only one is lucking.... MY DECISION.

And now, i made up my mind.

I look for mom in her office but she was not there. I look for her in her room but still not there. I look for her in the kitchen, garden, terrace, fountain area, event's hall, guest's chamber and so on but still no sign. I kept on looking for here everywhere in this house still i cant find her.

Maybe im not lucky to decide right now. Maybe this is a sign that should think of it. But...

I know. Im done. Done for thinking, waiting and  taking back.

Now that I am all alone. I have to stand on my own.

I decided to look for tita tess. And i found her at the maid's quarters.

"Tita tess!" I called her.

"Iha?" Simpleng sagot niya

" si mommy po?"

"Iha, may sasabihin sana ako sa iyo eh kaya ngalang nahirapan akong hanapin ka. Buti naman at andito ka?" May pag aalangang sagot niya.

" bakit ho? Naglibot libot lang po ako. Hinanap ko kasi si mommy. So, ya asan na siya?"

"Yan nga eh. Eh..ano.eh...ano...ano...kasi...uhm..pano ko ba sasa bihin to." Parang kinakabahan ako. Feeling ko parang may masamang nangyari. I hold my tita tess' hands.

"Tita, ano po yon?" Kasabay ng pagsabi ko non ay ang paghanda ko rin ng sarili ako.

Mabigat ang aking nadarama, para akong hindi makahinga sa bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Para akong kinakabahan na parang natatae. Ewan ko ba. I feel someone is in dager.

"Si grandpa mo inatake sa puso. yung mom mo lumipad na kani kanilang di kana niya nasabihan dahil sa pagmamadali. Naka handa na yung private plane. " walang preno pero nanlulumong sabi niya. Hindi agad ako nakapagreact. I was shock and for the another time, muli akong nanghina.

Dali dali akong pumunta sa kwarto ko at nag impake. Onti lang ang dinala ko since pwede rin naman akong bumili ng mga damit doon. Nagbihis narin ako.

Nasa sasakyan na ako ngayon patungo sa lugar kung nasaan ang private plane. Ito na yata ang pinaka matagal na oras sa buhay ko. Parang onti onti akong pinapahina nito. Pagkarating sa lugar inassist na ako ng mga tao. Pagkatapak ko sa eroplano ay agad akong pumwesto para makalipad na agad. Sa bintana ako pumwesto para makita ko ang ulap at himpapawid.

Muli akong nanghina. My tears kept on running again and i cant do anything but just to let it go. I feel so weak at this moment. I want someone to be beside me but I know they already left me since the day they became my traitor.

Pagkababa sa eroplano ay may taong umassist muli sa akin. May nakahanda ng sasakyan. Natulog nalang ako papuntang ospital sapagkat akoy pagod at dahil sa malayo layo rin ito.

Ginising ako ng driver pagkadating namin sa ospital at hanggang ngayon hindi parin nawawala ang mga nag aassist saakin.

Room 401. Fourth floor pa. Sumakay kami ng elevator. Wala ng ibang nakasakay kundi kami lang ng assistant. Muling bumagal ang oras at parang kinuha nito ang hininga ko.my knees kept on shaking, my chest aches, and my eyes are like going to be wet again.

Ting

Sa pagbukas ng elevator, nakita ko agad ang silid na iyon. I feel so tense. I dont know what to do. I hold the doorknob and twist it. And there! I totally broke down. I cant bare grandma and mom crying and most of all, I cant bare my grandpa lying on bed without concious with so many apparatus connecting in him.

My mom hug me. I wanna comfort them i want to easen their pain but i know i still cant.

Im in pain too and as long as i want to be brave, I cant.

Days passed and there is still no development with my grandpa's condition. But this time, nagpakatatag kami, for him para lumaban siya. Grandpa doesnt want to be pitied by anybody. He wants everyone to be strong for him. I trust grandpa so much and I know that he will be alright.

Ako ang nag alaga kay grandpa. I want to make sure that I will be there for him at this moment. Lola and lolo are living here in america. They just go to philippines for vacations, business meeting or  what but still they find way na para mapalapit ako sakanila. I usually visit them during school breaks before but I am having hard time for visiting this previous months since of my busy school schedule. But this time, ill make sure that I wont loose time for them again.

After several weeks, nagising na si grandpa. Im so happy. Masaya ako. Pero di parin mawala na may masakit na bahaging puso ko. After he get over, i choose to stay in this place. In a short period of time, I have already adapted this kind of environment.

New place, new environment and new life. Despite the things happen back n the Philippines, never pumasok sa isip kong maghiganti. Right at this moment, I want to feel independent, brave and free. I know that in this new environment, there would be a tons of changes that wil happen.

For now, I want to stand on my own, gain my confidence, reach my dreams and be happy.

I have already told my mom about my plans and she agreed it all for it would be more convenient for her to handle our business since it based here and also to take care of grandma and grandpa.

A/n: another chappy has end. And hope you like it guys at all.

This is dedicated to a friend that already knows about the whole plot. She is the one who kept pushing me to continue this. :)