Letting Go

chapter 13

Matagal na panaho narin naman.

Mahirap mahulog.

Nahulog ako sa bangin pero akoy nakaahon.

Ng mahulog ako ng dinamamalayan sa balon, wala na! Wala akong makapitan. Nangapa ako sa dilim.

Sana nakita ko yung babagsakan ko bago ako mahulog. Sana. Sana. Sana.

I was wearing a black floral long sleeve dress that suites my pale white skin. I paired it with a red celine heels that pairs my bloody lips.

Once again dahil sa porma ko para akong nagkakulay unlike nong nasa ano ako. Ah basta!

Pababa na ako ngayon sa eroplanong sinakyan ko mula Japan. Well, for the past years hindi naman talaga ako sa Japan nanirahan. It was like I roam the world. I met new set offriends in different countries.

Sa pagbaba ko sa eroplano, naramdaman ko yung init na kakaiba. Na sa pilipinas mo lang madarama, init mula sa ingay, alikabot at kung ano ano pang pollution.

I am back!

Once again, cliche na ang istoryang to pero I assure you that I dont go back just for revenge thingy. Yan yung iniisip niyo no?

I wouldnt like him regretting of loosing me or what. I just wanted to make them all happy bago ulet ako umalis at siguradong di na ako makakabalik. Bumalik ako to have a permanent and a final goodbye to everyone.

I would never forget them. They were the best and worst thing that happen into my life. They bring laughter, tears, insecurities, guilt, smile and happiness into my life, the usual feeling that a person like me must experience.

Ako yung taong kontento sa kung ano ang kaya at kung ano ang meron. Simple lang ganun!

I admit, i dont have a perfect family. My mom is married to my dad that is like having an affair to everybody. Usual nayon saakin at kay mom. Nasasaktan rin naman kami pero tanggap na namin na dad wouldnt be my dad anymore since kuya died. And yes! I have a kuya, he is Yexen Travis Gabriel Cole. He died because of terrible health complication. Mahina ang katawan niya na to the point ay bigla nalang dumoble doble yung sakit niya.

Nahirapan kaming tanggapin yun. Masakit na kahit gano pa kayo kayaman, money cant take back what was lost, money cant make my kuya strong again.

I and kuya were both close to dad. We were like barkada before. He was the best dad before, not until kuya is lost.

He change. He have been with different girls in a week. He always get drunk. He doesnt go home. He always shuts us up.

We got hurt again and again. Cause yung akala namin na makakapitan naman sa pagkawala ni kuya ay siya rin palang unang susuko sa amin.

Mom's got depressed and got into the point that she became suicidal kaya naman pinatherapy na namin siya.

Until few years ago nung umayos na uli ang lahat at natanggap na namin na we lost dad and kuya. Sometimes dad visit naman but just because of some papers for the business. Kahit mom and dad were seperated still they were partners parin sa negosyo.

Yeah! Maraming paligoy ligoy ang buhay ko. Marami akong nakatago sa baul na mga sikreto but I realize na sa loob ng panahon na wala ako ay kailangan kung mag let go sa mga bagay kahit gaano pa ito kaimportante saakin para tuluyan na talaga akong maging masaya.

I am here for a wave of goodbye.

Susulitin ko muna ang mga inaraw ko rito sa bansa bago ako magpakita sa kanila.

I hope na kaya ko rin sabihin sa kanila ito pero it will be hard for me to let go kun makikita ko ang reaksyon nila.

Pagkatapos ng ilang araw, nandito ako ngayon sa opisina. Marami kasi akong inaayos sa negosyo since my mom pass some of the responsibilities to me when I turned 18.

I check the time. 7:47 pm. Gabi narin pala. Bawal ako mastress but I need to take an overtime para matapos ko na to lahat bago ko ipasa.

8:50 pababa na ako ng building and since wala ng maintenance sa elevator nag hagdan nalang ako. Takot kasi ako baka mastuck ako don.

Noong umabot ako sa ibaba.. i was catching my own breathe. Unti unti akong lumakad palabas ng building. Ngumiti lang ako kay manong guard at ng biglang nalang akong nahilo. And the next thing i knew, everything went black. But still i can manong gurad saying.

" hay! Ala oy! Mam! Mam! Gisisng ho! Mam-"

A/n: hi! I hope you like it guys.

What do you think are happening?