Monologues of the mind

Fence

You ever get that feeling of just nothingness, like your whole body is just numb?
It's like you're on the fence between happy and sad where nothing really makes you feel anything anymore.

Until someone pushes you to a side; and if the side is "happy" then that's great, because it could be anything by anyone. Even something small like a smile or a hello.

But if the side is "sad" then that's a cold, dark, treacherous place you have just been hurled into; and unfortunately this can be by anyone and it could be anything. You start feeling you don't matter and anything you do won't ever make a difference because you just aren't good enough for anyone or anything. And the fence on the sad side is so much harder to climb up than the happy side, that you just start calling "home" because you know you won't ever get back up there again.....at least not on your own.

But nowadays, in the world we live in with a million and one different fences with people on them, whose gonna listen to you? Or help you? Because in the big, grand scheme of things you and your fence don't matter.

So do you ever get that numb feeling?.....Because I do.....