I can't see the light.
I can't see a way out.
I make friends with the darkness until it suffocates my soul.
I wonder sometimes what went wrong, what caused me to be like this. To be this....messed up... And I always draw a blank.
I could become a cliche and say bullies or back-stabbing friends but that's gets you only so far.
No.
The rest is up to you.
You choose what to do with the situation and I guess I chose to blame myself and make life worse. And the strange thing is now, I would chose the same thing again. I apologise to others so much that it looses all meaning but not to myself, never to myself. But I'm the most battered and bruised person I know. I cut so I can hurt myself more. So I can feel the pain I caused other people.
But I already do.
Everyday.
Because I inflict it upon myself.
Because I chose this path. Whether 'I' is my brain or my mind.
I can't carry on doing this.
I can't see a way out.
I can't see the light.
I can't.
(Note: this is monologue (?) is quite rough around the hinges but I thought I should use my emotions to make something)
YOU ARE READING
Monologues of the mind
RastgeleThese are just random monologues/thoughts/entries into my mind. These are normally written when I'm feeling depressed or emotional over something, so take caution if you are easily upset. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. ~ T.H
