The vampire's maid

Chapter 37

John's pov

I will kill them. I will kill them all.

I don't know how and I don't care why but they did it. And that's enough for me to kill them all. They killed my one and only.

My mate...

She was so beautiful and kind. She was perfect in every aspect and they took her from me. And I could do nothing but watch her die.

With a stake in her heart she lied in my arms not moving anymore. Life slowly drifting away. And I could do nothing.

If only I was faster, stronger. I could have saved her. It's all my fault. She is dead because of me.

No living thing should be near me without expecting to die. No human and no vampire. It's almost as if the god of death wants to punish me for my sins. Not by killing me but the ones around me, the ones I care about.

Because what could possibly hurt more then getting hurt yourself...
Right. Watching others getting hurt.

That's why I stopped being around the living. That's why I moved back into my house in the woods. That's why I don't want to be friends with anyone. I don't want to get attached.

And yet here I am repeating my mistakes all over again. Just when I started caring about that little human they had to appear. Out of the nowhere.

They almost killed her and if she died it woul have been my fault. Because I was egoistic and wanted some company. Because I was fascinated on how it feels like I have known her since forever even if she is a stranger to me.

It's been nine days. Nine days and she already is in great danger. Because of me. It all happens because of me. Because of me and my sins. And yet it's not only me who has to pay but the ones around me.

But why?

Maybe that's the goddes way of telling me I have lived for too long already and finally should leave this place.

Maybe. But maybe not and I am going to chase after that possibility that almost equals zero. But I have to. How could I just give up? Leaving my family behind. Leaving her behind.

I know a stranger possibly shouldn't be one of your few reasons to live on but yet she is.

She is... interesting. She is special and tougher than anyone else I know. So wounerable and yet so strong. It is something about her that pulls me closer. But maybe it's just a trap to make me feel even worse once she's dead.

Maybe fate just wants to rip the rest of my rotten heart out for me to become that emotionless creature I sometimes wish to be.

No feelings also means no pain.

No pain... never feeling guilt again... that would be my heaven... but also my hell. I would feel numb. Empty inside. I would go crazy.

That's why I need her. That's why I have to protect her. She is the only human I care about. The only person being close to me for a really long time. The only thing keeping me sane.
I tried being normal, not erasing city by city leaving a path of blood behind. I tried to feel but not to feel too much. I tried so much. I'm tired of trying.

With her... I don't feel so lonely and have something to distract myself with. I know those are the wrong intentions but if I try to be there for her and try to help her with her problems I feel better. I get distracted from all the thoughts and voices in my head. And yet I am even failing at this easy task. I have to get myself under controll if I don't want to do something I'll regret. I've already hurted her too much. I know I can't turn back time nor whil anything I do undo it.

But I have to do this. I have to do this for her. For both of them. My beloved mate and my only friend left on this planet, Amanda Black.

I won't let anyone let tuch her again. Never ever. I will protect her. This time it won't happen again and I finally will escape my circle of destruction and death.

I open my eyes now standing in front of the enemy's territory.

I clench my fist and lick my elongated vampire teeth muttering "I'll make you pay. I'll kill you all. I will kill your loved ones right before your eyes and I will bath in your blood."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey<3

Just like I promised, a chapter in john's pov. I hope you like it<3

Do you want more chapters in his pov or only amanda's pov?

tell me what you think<3

Mel<3

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