Tell Her I'm Sorry

So This Is It

I am an idiot. A complete and utter fool. I've made a mess of everything because I was a coward. But I thought...I hoped...what the hell did I hope? Did I honestly think this wouldn't happen? That she wouldn't be able to find someone else? It's been a month since Em and I last talked and I still haven't taken a real breath since. I keep hoping maybe it was just a nightmare and that hadn't ruined what we had.

Today was just going to be like any other day, or so I thought. When I walked into class, I saw her. And just like always, she made my heart race. Only this time she wasn't alone. She was talking to another girl and they seemed to be getting along really well. I know I have no right to be upset by this and yet I can't help that I feel like my hearts stopping. She looks happy. Like really happy. I haven't seen her laugh like this in a month.

Maybe this is a good thing. Like I said before, she deserves to be happy. And I don't think I'm the one who's going to be making her happy anymore. Who knows, maybe this girl will be good for Emily? I'm....ha-happy for her.

Dammit! Who the hell do I think I'm kidding??? I can't sit back and watch someone else be with my girl. I need her...I need Emily. I love her and I will be brave enough for her. I don't care what it takes, I will be courageous for once in my life.

So this it. I'm going to be as brave as Emily is. I will do it for us.