Felicity is a journalist sent to Rio, Brazil to cover the sports events happening. She was focused on becoming a successful journalist and a writer so she exerted too much effort during her stay in Brazil.
Little did she know that a gymnast, has...
It's been two weeks since I left the Olympics. Arthur and I had small talks, like the actual interaction then leaving for his schedule. He won another honor for his country, and he's been going back and forth interviews and TV guestings, magazine photoshoots and all.
Our last conversation was last Saturday, and it is Thursday today.
Im at school, my classess are done but I needed to attend the Glee Club to entertain potential performers.
My brain just doesn't want to cooperate.
Im so dysfunctional without him.
Our finals is getting near and I don't know if I could focus, my life has been hell bent since I left.
I also got my phone and installed snapchat to be updated on what Arthur has been doing. Same goes with me.
I opened my application and saw his story an hour ago.
Felicity.
He said on the start of the video, then started playing the piano in his grey muscle tee and blue shorts.
I smiled.
I miss him so much.
"Felicity!" A baritone voice exclaimed.
It's Josh, my debate deputy. He's an over-reacting guy. I mean, I don't know about you but he can't calm his tits down for the debate next week. Which is not a big deal, because hey, it's debate.
"What now, Josh?" I said irritated, then closed my phone.
"Our topic was changed. It's about extra judiciary killings under President's administration. What to do? What to do?"
"Calm the fuck down. Just do your research and leave me alone."
I said then go back to watching the performer.
Im stoned.
I don't know what to focus on right now. Im trying to cooperate,but my body is so dysfunctional. Im so fucking tired.
I've heard Josh banging the door. I sigh.
"Are you fine? You can go home if you please." Said our organizer.
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I excused myself and went out the halls. The line for the auditions is still thick as hell.
They all scream.
"Hi, guys." I said.
Their smiles are so bright I could eat them up to spare me some.
"Felicity, you're so pale." I've heard someone said.
B L A C K O U T
"Is she going to be fine?"
A not so feminine voice asks. I've heard her just around the room.
I opened my eyes, then see Matte across the room, talking to a doctor.
"She's depressed, and over-fatigue. She will be fine in two days."
Then the doctor left.
Matte walks toward me and sit on the side of the hospital bed.
"Hey." She greets so gently and full of pity, I even pitied my self.
She clears her throat. "I called Arthur."
I exclaimed. "You shouldn't have,Matte!"
"He has the right to know. Are you in good terms?"
"Last time I checked, yes."
"He seem sad."
"Im lost until he's found."
She giggles. "Putangina mo, Felicity. Stop with your poetic words."
What's with the profanity?
I heard Matte's phone ring. She mouths, "It's Arthur."
She gave me her phone and accepted the call then run away.
I put the phone on my ears, careful. Not hearing any sound, I bet he's waiting for a 'hello.' He clears his throat.
"Ela não está respondendo!" She's not answering!
I hear him shout.
Acalme-se Arthur. Calm down Arthur.
A voice from the background shouts back.
"Porra! como eu pode se acalmar, se Felicity está no hospital?" Fuck! How can I calm down if Felicity is in the hospital?
I can't understand everything but I know he is already cursing. Am I giving him too much... Pain? Anxiety? Or anything in between?
Damn you, Felicity.
I cleared my throat.
"Arthur, it's-"
"Felicity? Is this you? What happened? Are you alright?" He asks.
A tear fell down my cheek. Why am I feeling so horrible right now? He should be focusing on his stuff but there's me.
"Im... Fine."
*toot*
The sound I never wanted to hear during phone calls. He dropped the call.
He fucking dropped it.
I sigh.
I hate what my thoughts are telling me right now.
My fear of being rejected has come to its highest peak.
Matte bought me something to eat, and is now encouraging me to take a bite.
"I feel so alone."
“Then be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.”
She said as if it's an easy thing to do. But it is not Matte without her good pieces of selfish advice.
"Please." I replied.
“What? Im going to quote what Bell Hooks said. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” She insists.
It's not it.
Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your own presence rather than the absence of others, because solitude is an achievement.
I mean, it is a good thing. But Im trying to keep Arthur for my future. I don't abandon things, what more to people.
I just hope, after two days, I'll be able to settle this thing with Arthur.
