Take It Out On Me

PART TWO: CHAPTER THREE

After a few days in the Hospital, I was finally able to go home. Asia and Ava went back to California.

The next few months were the best just me and my baby

I was taking TJ to his 3 month check up, I was stopped at the stop light on 18th when the radio started playing another song, and this song was different than the others that had been playing all day.

"I still go riding around town with the Windows down and your feet up on my dash. Got your rays on and my hats back and were feeling cool as cash. The night is on, like you ain't even gone. You go sliding through the static trying to, find a song you love. Smoke rolling up and showing up like a dime piece in the dust. You got me stoned like you ain't even gone" those lyrics flooded my head with memories of me and Tyler. We never actually dated, but the way it felt when we were together was like nothing else. All of the crazy shit we did, getting into some kind of trouble every Friday night.

"Sunset, Twilight, Friday Night, Round back, chill a dollar fifty Miller high life. Headband, peace sign, lookin' fly, shotgun. Bullet going straight through a street sign"

Every Friday around 6 right before sun would set we would ride around the back roads drinking beer and shooting signs. He always had his hat on and I had my rays on too. Barefeet on the dash with the Windows down. And the peace sign headband hanging on the rearview mirror.

"If I said I wasn't missing you I'd be lying"

Those words killed me, I couldn't stop the tears. As much as I hated to say it, I loved that boy. Still do.

"You said you were leaving this town, got to run away. I watched you drive away, and girl I should have chased down those diamonds in your eyes when you were smiling"

I turned around to see what TJ was laughing about.

I didn't notice anything different, I turned down the radio and he began to cry again.

I turned it back up and he got all happy again.

"Yeah, baby that's your daddy singing!" I turned off the truck and got him out.

Once inside the room, I told his doctor that I may not be in town for his 5 month check up, but I wasn't sure. He referred me to a pediatrician in Dallas just in case.

Once the appointment was done, I did a few other things I needed to do and I headed home.

I was sitting on the couch watching Netflix and TJ was asleep in his pack and play when my phone started to ring.

It was my mom.

S: Hello

M: Hey sweetie. Just wondering how you're doing, we haven't heard from you in a while.

S: I'm fine. Just not sure if I'm ready to head back out yet.

M: We understand sweetie. You still won't tell us where you're at will you?

S: No, I'm sorry. I can't, I may try to come visit this weekend.

M: please do sweetie. We all miss you; Tyler even keeps blowing up our phones asking about you.

S: Yeah, he's been calling me a lot this week. I just don't know if I can face him....after what I did.

M: You had your reasons sweetie. I'm sure he will understand when you're ready. I have to go pick your sisters up from school, I love you, sweetie visit us soon please?

S: Thanks mom! I will try and I love you too!

After we hung up, I just sat on the couch thinking about everything that's happened over the last year and a half.