The Reader's Shire - Book Reviews

Book Review: Harry Potter & the Cursed Child

Disclaimer:

This review contains major spoilers for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and most installments in the Harry Potter series (duh). If you haven't read them and don't wish to know anything, please leave. Also, this is a negative review so if you can't tolerate anyone criticizing your favourite book, then you can leave too. The last I'd want is to cause you pain or spoil a Harry Potter book for you.

Title: Harry Potter & the Cursed Child
Authors: Jack Thorne (script), J.K Rowling, and John Tiffany (story).
Series: Harry Potter #8
Genres: Young Adult Fantasy, play.
Format: ebook
Length: 327 pages.
Publication date: July 31st, 2016.
Publisher: Arthur A. Levine Books.
Goodreads Avg. Rating: 3.87 out of 5 stars
My Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars

Update: (9/28/16)
Um, so I just found out that there's going to be a script book published for the Fantastic Beasts film? Wtf. What is Rowling playing at? I wish she would stop milking the cash cow. Imagine if all filmmakers started selling their script books! We'd all be broke in a week. 

Update: (8/15/16)
I just realized I crossed 2000 words. Did I write that much? See, this is what happens when I write reviews on books I'm too passionate about.

I am so sorry.

HERMIONE: Rose. Remember to send Neville our love.
ROSE: Mum, I can't give a professor love!

Hey! Those were Ginny and James's lines!

I never thought I'd be saying this but I'm just going to start of by apologizing to Dramione and Harmione shippers for finding their OTPs ludicrous. I apologize for laughing at the fan fiction and the mini theories. I was horrible. I guess this is my punishment for disliking the delusional-yet-still-possible-headcanons as I got something even more absurd: an even worse fan fiction labelled, "canon".

I have so many questions.

1) Wasn't it already implored how Rowling was against necromancy and changing time?

2) Who wrote this and why?

SCORPIUS: The rumor is that my parents couldn’t have children. That my father and my grandfather were so desperate for a powerful heir, to prevent the end of the Malfoy line, that they . . . that they used a Time-Turner to send my mother back.

ALBUS: To send her back where?

ROSE:  The rumour is that he's Voldemort's son, Albus.

*dies laughing*. Oh, come on. This is so bad it's funny. If Lucius and Draco Malfoy were so desperate to continue the bloodline, couldn't they have just mated Astoria with someone else? Why Voldemort, of all people? And do you really think that, Voldy would screw some Greengrass just so Draco "I can't kill Dumbledore" Malfoy can have a kid? Besides, if I can remember correctly, according to Harry, Scorpius really resembled Draco.

I can't believe the Wizarding world was stupid enough to actually believe in this shit.  

3) Correct if I'm wrong but wasn't a time-turner operated like this?

It is 5:00 PM.
XX goes back 10 minutes to do some shit.
It is 4:50 PM now.
XX does whatever he/she has to do in, say, 5 minutes.
It is 4:55 PM now.
XX has to wait an extra 5 minutes and then enter the place he/she departed from.
The end.

So, how is it possible for Albus and Scorpius to go at least 30 years back?

4) Weren't all of the Time-turners smashed during the Battle of the Department of Mysteries in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?????