Devour | on hold

Chapter 6 (The Other Face of Life)

- Chapter Six -

T H E   O T H E R   F A C E   O F   L I F E

Quidel uses his sharp teeth to bite Maska’s heart, and what gets my attention is the look on Nara’s face. I wish I can go hug her then turn to the cannibals and curse them, then kill them one by one with my bare hands. I wish I can break through Quidel’s chest with my knuckles and take his heart out and celebrate. I wish I could be stronger. I wish I were something.

I wish I could change things.

But how? 

“Devour!!” Quidel barks at his people, and they quickly run and scatter like a herd of excited bulls. They cut and tear and eat and drink blood and break bones, they crush and slash and devour, and my tears are falling so hot on my cheeks and I want to scream and die.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

The words I’m saying in my mind are so many, but I do not dare to say a single one out loud. I do not talk. I do not scream. I’m looking for Akando – who I can’t find in this mess.

I want him to wipe my tears away, and tell me not to cry, everything gets better at the end; or at least we act like it does. I want to hear everything he has to tell me; everything he always tells me. I want him to make me feel better. I want him for so many things, and above all: I want him because I love him and he’s my best friend ever, but I can’t find him. I want him to come so I’d tell him I’m sorry about whatever made him that mad, because I can’t stand his being upset with me. I want him to tell me ‘close your eyes, Len. I’m here with you. Imagine there’s no one but us.’ I need everything Akando does for me. I need him to stop my memories from coming to life. Those memories of every Celebration I was forced to attend. Those memories of my mother’s Celebration. I can’t live through all of that again.

Even if I see him, I know I can’t be with him. Quidel and the Cannibals could punish us if a family member sat with another family. They love us being separated. They can control us only this way.

Jacy is sitting beside me, he has to lean on me to be able to sit up, and I’m so worried about him; I hold his hand and squeeze it. He looks at me and raises a hand to wipe my tears.

Children start attending the Celebrations only from the age of eight. And every year I have to watch the looks of horror and sickness and ache on their faces. I feel sorry for them for seeing the bitter truth for the first time; I can remember how it feels like to see the other face of life, after you’ve been living in an illusion of peace.

I wish I never grew up.

When the criminals–cannibals are done eating they take their seats again, and get ready for Quidel’s speech.

“Dear Cannibals, Eyotes and Canneyotes,” Canneyotes are converts. They were either Cannibals who’ve changed to Eyotes or vice versa. They are considered outcasts in both tribes. They are never trusted, for they’ve converted once, they could do it again. But they have to attend the Celebrations, anyway. “We are gathered today to celebrate a feast. It is a funeral to some of us, and feast to some others. However, we attend it together.

“In the name of the Cannibals, I welcome the visitors. And I remind you that this is the sixty-fifth year of Celebrations since the armistice that occurred between the two tribes – followed by the peace treaty sixty-five years ago, after the Bloodbath War that had continued for seven continues years. And as you’re quite aware, the number of Celebrations per year depends on the death rates. Anyhow, respect goes to our losses of humans of the Bloodbath War.” He continues, and I roll my eyes at his fakeness. I know the rest of the speech very well that I can give it instead of him, so I decide to block my ears and avoid his poisonous words from coming in.