Hello? Hey, I've notice that you haven't come to work ever since your lead was shot, I know that would have brought you down, but you need to come back.
You have what we need, so please reply.
The same voice messaged played over and over in different variations when I finally turned my phone on.
It was two weeks since the incident, and all I have accomplished within those two weeks were eating and drinking, alcohol, and sleeping and listening.
I could have access to Taeyeon's words twenty four seven, and she could say whatever she wanted, there were no consequences.
I could never be tired of hearing her speak.
Listening to her constant wondering and thoughts was pure entertainment, my hand never stopped writing, and so much so that I was sure I developed some kind of setback in my wrist.
She spoke of things like death, life, and Walt Disney.
Disney was successful for solely the reason he was the first to pull a child and adult completely out of reality.
Where there were ups and downs, but it was always up.
And people usually embrace idealism because it is so real.
An idea can be much more close to you than a reality.
Disney manipulated that, but used it for some kind of good turned evil.
Now it's all money, the weight of life's situations.
I left my home, I suppose I would never return again, but being in my home and being in this high class hotel wouldn't have made a difference.
Because I was no longer existent.
I could not be seen by the human eye, but I needed to survive, I still had my memories, my feelings, my hunger and my thirst.
I was not a ghost; I could still physically touch things.
I suppose the only difference of myself was that I could no longer be seen or heard or felt by human beings.
Animals, a simpler life form, barked and hissed at my presence more than once.
All my possessions, my clothes, my money, my phone, were invisible to the naked eye.
Some things that I touched, larger masses, perhaps around the size of a backpack to the bookshelf could be seen, so I couldn't pocket much.
It didn't matter if I tried to talk to my co-worker through the phone; all he would hear would be cackling noises.
I confirmed these properties as this entirely new organism with a call to my Mother, and an attempt to buy a pack of cigarettes.
My Mother hung up in my face, as paranoid as she was about me before, and the cashier didn't even blink an eye in my direction.
So I took the pack and left.
I was kind of happy.
I was neither human nor monster, I had no desire to scare the living wits out of the innocent, and I had my own conciseness of right and wrong.
But I was losing it.
To be in this hotel room, I walked through the doors, pretended to check in and went up the elevator and walked into a room.
I didn't have to pay a dollar.
I paid half a dollar that I ripped in half myself.
Money lost its value, for me.
