Jessica wasn't supposed to be roped into this twisted game.
But she was, not by accident, but on purpose.
She wanted to live in that cold laboratory.
She liked the cold.
I asked her why.
She said because she was nonexistent.
I asked her why.
She wanted to eliminate her existence completely, not by suicide but by murder.
I backtracked and told her that if she was nonexistent, then she wouldn't have to try to annihilate her own body.
Her insides were hollow, all she needed was to stab the heart between her chest and tear it out.
It could have over, she wouldn't be here.
I wouldn't be here, interviewing her.
But she is here, because she wanted cruelty, she wanted suffering.
For a reason she told as a lie, there was something more than the surface.
You never get adequate answers out of the victim, no matter if they're victims on purpose or not.
Instead you'll usually dig up something from someone who is the sanest in the whole process.
Astonishingly to the public eye, the sanest one might just be the source of the pain.
But not now, not this time.
I couldn't sit here, even if I had all day, to listen to Jessica talk about wanting the pain and the hurt and possible death.
She could talk until her mouth went dry, she could talk until she did attain the death that she wanted and it still couldn't make any sense to any of us.
Any of us but her and Kwon Yuri.
But even Kwon Yuri told me nothing but the scratch of the surface.
I needed more than that to answer Jessica's life.
I needed an answer that I could never find by myself.
I needed something that would at least leave a deep wound healed to be a scar, something that would be etched in my memory forever, and something that would turn my insides out.
Why did I crave to know but too afraid to know the truth at the same time?
I felt like I was the one hiding the secrets and telling the lies, knowing that one day the inevitable confession would spill past the sides of my lips.
Like blood being hacked out of my mouth after being stabbed repeatedly in the stomach.
Kwon Yuri gave me nothing but a smile.
She didn't just have compassion for Tiffany, but she had compassion for Jessica as well.
She didn't lay a hand on her; she was just there because Taeyeon locked her in with the other caged birds.
I requested that if she didn't want to disclose a testimony about Jessica, then she might as well use the time to talk about herself.
There's nowhere else to go, nothing else to say, so she did speak about herself, and why she's even alive right now.
Yuri just picked at the scab on her fingers almost obnoxiously as she spoke, her voice hoarse and her cheerful demeanor of a pathetic mask fading away.
She spits out her own deal fast, she's too nice, not being able to speak of another person's suffering without the tears brimming but able to speak about her own with nonchalance.
