What will I do without u

I miss you

TRIGGER WARNING!!!! 

Jacks POV

               I tried to sleep on the plane ride but couldn't. My eyes were red and puffy from crying. I had dried tears on my face that I refused to wipe away. I continued to stare blankly at my hands like I always did. I leaned back and sighed. Marks uncle tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to face him. "You okay?" I turned back around. I couldn't answer that question. If I did my voice would crack something terrible and I'd would have embarrassed the shit out of myself. After hours of being trapped in my thoughts the plane finally landed. I shot out of my seat and quickly exited the plane. Marks uncle took me to his other car he had waiting outside the airport. I got in and slammed the door behind me. "I'm Casey by the way." I looked up at him. "I'm Jack." "Well Jack, Mark told me some things about you so we went ahead and set up your room." "Okay thank you." After a few minutes we pulled into a HUGE house that was absolutely beautiful. It was a gray house with white shuttered and a black front door. It had flowers in the front yard and the grass was perfectly green and cut short. I hopped out of the car surprised. Mark said his uncle had money but I didn't think he meant this much money. I went inside and it was even prettier then the outside. The kitchen and dining room was painted light blue with pretty much everything white or glass. The living room was huge and painted a tannish color. I ran upstairs and ran to each and every room until I found one I liked. I walked into the room I knew was meant for me. It was an Irish green color with green and black sheets. The dresser was black and had a flatscreen hanging above it, it had two side tables by the bed that looked about the same as the dresser with one black lamp on the left. It had a huge window that I could see the ocean and city out of. It was perfect. I got my stuff and took it up to me room. I started to unpack and took out my belongings. When I was unpacking I noticed Mark had put his red flannel shirt in my bag. I pulled it out and stared at it for a while. I laid it on the bed and continued to unpack everything else. When I was done unpacking I pulled out my phone and skyped Mark. It rang for a while until he answered. (~ I will use these for skyping." 

Mark: ~hey you land okay?~ 

Jack:~yeah I got here a while ago~ 

Mark:~okay good. Do you like it there?~ 

Jack:~ haven't been here long enough to decide yet~ 

Mark:~*laughs*~ 

Mark and I continued to talk for a while until my phone was about to die. 

Jack:~Markimoo I'm gonna go see the city and get something to eat. Love you~

Mark:~I love you~ 

Mark smiled which made me smile. I hung up and quickly plugged in my phone. I needed money to head into town but I felt weird asking Casey for money but I guess I had to at some point. I ran downstairs and saw him in the living room. "How do you like your room." "It's nice." I was silent for a while. "Ya need anything?" "I was wondering if um...um....if I could borrow some money and go see the city and stuff..." "Of course you can! You can take my car if you want." "Thanks." Casey handed me a $100 bill and I drove off to somewhere. After a while of looking around I found a cute little coffee shop. I walked in and got food and a coffee of course. I quickly ate and walked around drinking my coffee. I got lost up in my thoughts and realized I was supposed to start school here soon. I looked around to see tons of hot, tall, and tan teens. I was short, pale and not very hot and Irish which was very different. I realized how different I was from everyone. I sighed and decided to go home. 

When I got home I rushed upstairs and plopped down on the bed. I looked over and saw Marks red flannel shirt sitting there. I stood up and stared down at it. Should I? Screw it. I took of my shirt and replaced it with Marks shirt. It felt warm and cozy. I changed into my sweatpants as well and decided I'd relax for the rest of the night. I turned the light off and faced the window. The moon shined on the water and the sky was full of stars that filled my room with light. I started to cry again but couldn't completely explain why. I cried for a while and stopped looking over at the corner of my room where school supplies laid. I stood up and walked over. I dug around till I found a pencil sharpener. I unscrewed the blade from the sharpener part and hung it over my wrist. This will be just like it used to be before Mark. I'll be okay. I know I'll be. I slowly pushed the blade into my skin feeling the weight being lifted off my shoulders. I continued to make cuts up my arm and stopped realizing what I had just done. Shit. I threw the blade on the ground and cupped my hands over my face. I cried once more and was rather loud. I quieted down when I heard my phone ring. It was Mark. I turned on my lamp and answered wiping away my tears. 

Mark:~Jack baby you okay?~ 

Jack:~Mark I miss you~ 

I bit my lip trying so terribly hard not to start crying again. 

Mark:~Jack what happened? You were okay earlier.~ 

Jack:~Mark I made a mistake.~ 

My voice cracked terribly as my eyes filled with tears. 

Mark:~Jack?~

I let out a whimper and pulled up my sleeve revealing to Mark what I had once done. It had been twelve hours and I was already a mess without him. 

Mark:~Jack....~ 

I could see Marks sadness fill his eyes. 

Jack:~Mark I'm so sorry.~ 

Mark tried to speak but he couldn't. 

Jack:~I get it.... I love you...~ 

Mark continued to stay silent. I looked down and hung up the phone. I laid back down and continued to cry again.