The familiar grey canopy dangling over the city's heads serves as the only thing that I see as I stare out into nothingness, supporting my body on my arms and leaned over the balcony. I don't feel the biting cold that comes with another desolate winter, nor the rain drops soaking trough my thin sweater.
I don't feel anything anymore.
I haven't for a long time.
Two years to be precise. Two years. It sounds like an infinity in my mind. Two years without the man that made me breathe every day. If I didn't need air in my lungs anymore to survive I would be long dead, probably running alongside Jay in heaven's sweet gardens filled with roses and daisies.
Do vampires go to heaven?
I let the thought linger.
'I wouldn't.', I decide, suddenly recalling once again how I'd driven Liam's hunter dagger into Jay's heart without remorse. That had only hit me after. The only kind of weapon that I know of that can kill vampires.
My golden eyes detaches themselves from the thundery clouds overhead and linger over the thick treetops of the forest. Everything within me is more defined. I can hear the birds' morning songs everyday, and see the forest's leaves rustling in the wind so far away. But I still don't feel the emotions that come so easily to people like Caleb: happiness, the joy of eternal and youthful life, love. The only thing that I've felt since since Jay's death has been emptiness. A dull and painful emptiness. So painful, that at some point of my now eternal life I stopped feeling anything, numbed to the core.
I let my fingers wander over the cold stone railing of the balcony as memories rush to the surface of my mind, pictures of Jay pressing his body to mine as he kissed me for the first time in this very spot.
Two years. The anniversary of his death today feels no different than the previous year. It's just lonely, and achingly sorrowful. "Emma?" The sweet and feminine voice reaches me from behind as the balcony doors open. I hear the lock click and footsteps step onto the floor of the balcony. "Emma?" She repeats again.
I close my eyes as reality dawns back on me and reminds me of the other meaning of this day. Alice touches my arm lightly and I turn around, eyes downcast. When I look up at her her face is full of sadness and grief. She lost someone as well today two years ago. She might not have known Jay as much as the other vampires sharing this mansion, but the feeling of absence is still as much ever-present as the others. But it's still not the same. The only person who seems to be even close to understand the horribly emptiness that I feel is Hunter.
"Are you ready to go?" Alice asks softly, and when my eyes suddenly begin to blur she offers a sad smile and immediately brings me into a warm embrace. A human embrace. Chase has eventually offered her immortality, but she's not ready yet. I would never have chosen this if it meant living eternally without Jay.
I bury my head in her shoulder and wrap my arms around her as she crushes me against her. She doesn't seem to mind the freezing tears streaming from my eyes and staining her cotton sweater. She doesn't seem to mind anything at all as I weep in her arms when the shock of leaving hits me again. "You'll do great." She whispers affectionately in my ear, "You're eighteen now, an adult. You're ready." She says again, and I shake my head in contradiction against her shoulder.
"I'll never be ready." I whisper, "I don't know if I can do this."
"You need this, remember? You need this escape. Start over Em, begin a new life. I'll come visit, I promise." Alice replies with the firmness of a big sister, even though her voice sounds incredibly understanding and soft underneath that tone. "Live your life, my little baby sister." She squeezes my arms then and I step back.
YOU ARE READING
Burning Souls (F.T Sequel)
VampireSEQUEL TO FROZEN TEARS. COMPLETED. "Hey darling," a dark man with vampire red eyes greets me with a sudden hand curling around my neck and lifting me off the ground. He tilts his head and looks behind me as I claw at his hands, trying my best to ge...