The Adventures of the HMS Harlot

Part 4: Seymour Kipps, Sniper

"All right, how about this one? What is a pirate's favorite letter?" Connor began, telling his dozenth joke as we scouted the clouded skies. Connor wasn't the most gifted comedian I have met but he had a few gems. The majority of them,however, were awful.

"Rrrrrr?" l guessed

"You think it would be R but it's actually the Sea."

"I don't get it."

"Why would a pirate like the letter C?" said Ethel.

"But I'm a pirate and I prefer R." I said.

"Uh." Connor stuttered, trying to explain. "It's because a pirate and the sea are connected. The C is like the sea. You see?"

A less than comfortable pause.

"This joke is terrible."

Then we would all burst into laughter, and Connor would try to tell another God awful joke, and so it went. Despite the jokes, it was a refreshing change having Ethel and Connor along. Scouting is necessary and is easier with one person; but after a while it can grow rather dull. Right before joining The Harlot I was doing the odd jobs in port, which usually consisted of standing on top of a building late into the night, waiting for some poor fellow to walk out into the street. You would just sit there looking down the scope waiting and waiting with you finger on the trigger, really needing to piss. It wasn't the most exciting time in my life, but I will always have a job if there is someone who wants to get rid of someone else. Bounty hunting isn't a bad job, but I always do a lot better when I'm on a ship. There's always fresh air and less chance of my legs falling asleep.

Ethel laughed loudly as Connor told another joke. It was a pleasant laugh that seemed genuine, even though Connor was telling pun after pun. I always liked Ethel she has a good head on her shoulders and can read a map. We have been talking more after we worked together against the Gabriel. Afterward Ethel said I was just as good as hugging as I was shooting. I'm still rather embarrassed about the whole event, bad enough I acted like a drunkard in front of Ethel. Now the whole crew has heard about. Can't blame Ethel though, would of done the same thing. Eldon even tried to embrace me before I left on the scouting trip.

Connor's laugh on the other hand is a bit harsher on the ears. Connor is a good man and knows his way around a fight but his laugh resembles a dying goose. Any louder a passing ship will be able to hear us. I always found it interesting about the differences between Connor and myself. He's the scout and I'm a sharpshooter and those are similar in many a ways but the way we go about it like night and day. He fights like he was born with a sword in each hand but rarely kills. Not that's a bad thing; but it's baffling. It's a lot messier fighting a man up close and even more difficult to avoid killing when that person is trying to kill you. I don't understand it, but every man is to his own I guess. 

After a while the jokes and the laughing began to die down, and the only thing we could hear was the snapping of the sails, and the creaking as Ethel adjusted the rudder, as we navigated through the clouds. Although the small boat was intended to be used as a last resort I enjoyed the intimacy of it. There is no privacy on a large ship like the Harlot, not even in the crow's nest. On this small boat there's no shouting, or cannon fire, or Otto whipping people. Just the three of us, drifting through the sky. Only a few planks of wood keep us from falling to whatever sort of thing is below us. As I look around at the sky and the crew I realize that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing if we didn't go back to Victoria and the crew. The ship may be small but it can take us far. Far enough to the next port at least. With Ethel and Connor there would be no trouble finding work. Ethel was more than a decent pilot and an expert navigator. And Connor and I could probably take an Armada ship by ourselves. Also not having the entire Armada chasing us down would be a nice change of pace. 

I shook my head, trying to shake away the thought, chuckling to myself. What a funny thought! It must be my age, thinking of a silly thing like that. Much funnier than Connor's jokes anyway.

S. Kipps