The Cover Up (Phan)

Chapter 10

Dan's POV

 I was awakened by a buzzing sensation radiating from left pocket. When I opened my eyes the only thing I could identify was a plain white ceiling. With the intention of getting a better look at the area, I lifted my neck slightly. As soon as my head separated itself from the floor, there was a sharp pain in my abdomen which made my head collapse back to its original position. I groaned in pain and turned my head despite the agony. There was a sight of a sink with a bloody blade on top of it. That's when reality hit me, hard. 

Last night after the beating, I tried to kill myself. But I cut so deep why didn't I succeed?! I just want it all to be over. All the regret, the voices, dreams the pain. 

I got myself up, tears rolling from my eyes. Both of my hands linked with the sink in order to pull my body completely up and not fall. The sight of the white- now covered with blood- floor was horrendous. But not as much as the view I had of my wrists. It felt like I had gotten hundreds of individual tattoos on both of them.

 I raised my head towards the mirror to see my hideous reflection. There were two huge bruises on my left eye, a red mark across my cheek, and a thin cut on my bottom lip. As I lifted my shirt I could feel my eyes getting blurred with tears once again. My whole stomach was practically a giant bruise. There was a clear sight of all the different colours- red, purple, green, and a hint of blue. "WHY?! WHY AM I STILL ALIVE?!" A combination of yelling and sobs. "I DON'T WANT TO LIVE THIS LIFE! WHY CAN'T I HAVE A PERFECT LIFE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!" I continued to scream whilst hitting every object in my way. I then lost completely control and I smashed the bathroom mirror once, creating a small crack across it. I proceed to punch it until it was completely destroyed. Leaving my knuckles and the broken mirror pieces covered in blood.

The physical pain wasn't even affecting me, the emotional was powerful enough. I just wanted this nightmare called life to be over. This is the second time this month that I have failed at ending my pathetic life. It's incredible to see how much of a useless person I truly am. I couldn't even manage to commit suicide correctly. It was impossible to even see my skin colour of my arms. My tattoos drowned in a sea of red. I panicked at the time told by the clock hanged on the wall above my head. If I missed the bus Nick will kill me. I mean that really wouldn't be such a bad idea. Except, he won't kill me, oh no that would be too nice. He'll just beat me up until I pass out again . I quickly turned on the water fossett and placed my wrists under the streaming water. I winced at the burning feeling and hid my blade in my secret compartment. 

Then, picked out a black, long sleeve skeleton jumper. I stayed in  the same jeans from yesterday. M mind drove me into entering Becky's room and stealing her foundation. To my surprise, our skin tones were very similar. I applied a thin layer on my whole face and just a thick one on the blue and purple spots. I headed out, mad at the universe for forcing me into continuing to live my miserable existence.

My phone vibrated once again. It was Cat. Great, I thought. Nothing better than a stupid text from my cover up.

As soon as my finger was unlocking the screen an incoming call appeared.

"Hi," I said after hitting the green button.

"OMG Hi baby!" she sounded overly excited, like always. "So I am having a party tonight and the whole school is coming, including you."

"Alright, whatever." I quickly hung up the phone. There is no way my ears could take that annoying chirp. 

I began to walk to school. I was in the mood to just punch anything or anyone I saw. Luckily I forgot to take my earphones out of my jean pockets last night. Music always calms me down. Every time it played, I felt a connection. It is like music is the only thing that understands everything I am going through, it's weird.

Maybe I'm better off dead.
If  I was, would it finally be enough
To shut out all those voices in my head?
Maybe I'm better off dead.
Better off dead!
Did you hear a word?
Hear a word I said?
This is not where I belong,
You're gonna miss me when I am gone.

Everything was accurate in that song, exept for one little detail. No one will miss me...

AN//Hello! Just spent 10 hours crying over the TØP cover.... Tyler Joseph's voice is just beautiful *single tear* brb mcrying... Anyways please vote share and comment
-Love you guys
Jaz:D