Chapter 15- Don’t Give Me That Look
Movie’s Over -Block B
Something was imposing its light in my darkness. Like the an annoying stain in the middle of my serenity. Winching a little, I could feel my left shoulder muscles in a state of immense tightness. Pushing myself up to a sitting position, I sat at the edge of the bed. With my palm faced upwards, then turning it, the tingles of numbness still lingered in my veins. Damn just what did she infused into me. My right hand raises and pinches my nose bridge. Next I curl my fists and made them catch every breath that I was emitting. In this state, I needed to think. I am having issues. Issues more pressing than what you turned me into. Brilliant play there Steph. I humbly thank you.
This place was danger. Not like the place that would cure...it was more like a place where they gave you the tools but set you to be here forever. I know me. My issue in not speaking was simply because I had lost the understanding on how useful communication is. However putting me here...making this place run on its own. Lets say a good majority of mental issues comes from the breakdown of trust. So how does letting people roam freely here assist in establishing trust? In here, we all are who we are. Acceptance of the flaws as well as patting ourselves on the back for possesing such differences? My eyes scanned around the room. It takes cash, lots of it. Takes tons of money to house girls with a high likely chance of becoming a free loader. So what is it? Why are we here...
Just then the room door flung open. She ran towards me. Grabbed me by my shoulders tightly. Her eyes were in panic. I, on the other hand, was definitely puzzled by them. ‘Are you alright?’ I nodded my head slowly. Only then did she relaxed. Then again, with her head facing the floor. Is this relaxation or... I have no idea what the other option was. So I gently tapped once on her thigh.
She softly breaks the silence.‘I’m sorry. About Yul. About us. About me...’ My teeth clenched together. Being reminded of her, makes me shiver. The recalling of the way her eyes were smoothingly decieving. Her lips imposing their mark on me. ‘You know...when Yul came and told me how much she likes you and all...I couldn’t even find a way to pass it off with a smile. Sad isn’t it? I can’t even hide my emotions well enough at that moment.’
Throughout her speech, she never once looked at me. However, even without those windows, I felt the atmosphere become something. Like I was about to witness the reveling of the mess swept under the big old rug. ‘I used to be good at this. Hiding myself, setting the right response that the other desire. I had this thing you see...this stupid thing about picking up emotions and the reaction another wants. To me, that was great. I don’t need to hurt people. I could avoid all those confrontation. It was like a special peace award for me.’
‘Then it crashed. Round one, I was to choose my mother or my sister. While trying to balance the tight rope of pleasing all, I fell. Fell to no man’s land. Still, I believed my old man’s reasoning of things. He would always say that within us resides a greater purpose. He was nice.’ Was? Why the past tense? Could it be that he is gone? ‘Round two, a fabulous girl and the hurtful truth. Guess what, I lost once more.’ Then she lifted up her head. ‘Is this round three?’ Why the pain? Why the sorrow? Why the question?
I couldn’t answer. Not in words, not in body language, not even through telepathic transmission, I’m at a lost of how to react. That expression... please don’t give me the look. I close my eyes. I’m not going to see. I’m not going to see. Don’t give me that look. Don’t ask me for answers. My eyes open. ‘Don’t.’ I plead with her. She smiles at me and nods her head. ‘Alright.’ Then, she gets up and towers over me with her small frame. Patting my head, she says, ‘Sorry.’ I swatted away the hand that makes me feel like a five year old. Playfully, I glared at her. She responded with a little lighthearted giggle.
