Chapter 10: Pyxis
Trying to find some purpose- Vertical Horizon
My outburst has simmered down. The tears drying up. Silence rides between us. It was the first time in fact that I’ve seen her so quiet. We were both just watching whoever that was walking. Looking at the vast greenery and the buildings. It was like we are just part of the scenary. Just two ordinary people part of a drawing depicting the normalcy of life. The irony in my statement makes my nose twitch. What is normal? What holds the true meaning of normal? Is normal just a collective word to describe you when you are part of the majority?
I stole a peak at her. She was smiling and observing. Now the question is why? Why is it that she can smile and look at the surroundings? On the other hand, why am I asking everything? Like I’m doubting everything. I fidgeted a centimeter away from her. My body spoke for me. I was afraid of infecting her and causing that creepy smile. As the silence continues, her smile still illuminating her aura, I was begining to feel very much aware of her bright smile. Her smile is creeping me out. I guess I’m the further end of the tunnel. I could only sigh
‘Jessica Unnie.’ My back stiffen a little as she suddenly spoke. ‘Why do you remain silent? Do you not see the beauty of conversing? Or has someone told you that talk is useless?' She paused. Was she lettingthe shock of her sudden speaking ride past or for my brain to deal with her question with an answer. Neither of which I was incapable of. 'I used to believe that talk was something that was worth nothing too. I live my life in a strict manner. To me everything in life can be dealt with through simple fixed steps. Follow it and there you will have results. It was simple. Just cut, solve, fix, close. It was a repeated procedure. Like how athletes have a fixed training regiment to suit them. It made sense to me. That those steps could be applied to everything.
Reading books I found that out to be more true. Once the problem is fixed leave it alone. What is proven to be true will remain true. Like how the world was square till Lucretius proved the concrete evidence that the theory was false. To me, everything was nothing but a big mathematical equations that beckons my knowledge to solve, fix and close. With that idea centered around me, grades went up. Skipping a few grades was easy. If the problem was obtaining marks then the solution will be to have all the answers so as not to get marks deducted. Simple logic.
However, I soon got into trouble. I mean I was only 15 and here I was in the final year of high school. Maybe it was my ridged manners. Maybe it was my introverted ways. I don’t know. Either way somehow I was the perfect breed to be bullied. Everyday it was a continuos cycle. The problem that needed to be fixed was me. Hence I didn’t shout out for help. Instead I did what I usually do. I tried to fix. This time round, I needed to fix me.
Fifteen years has passed by with me being me. Two years later, I’m still me. So the bullying continued. Simple and straightforward isn’t it? It wasn’t until YoonA Unnie came into my life. She came out of nowhere. Blocked the chair that was suppose to land on my back.
Then she looked at my villains straight in the eye, ‘damn girls have strength these days.’ Next she picks up a piece of the shattered chair and look them straight in the eye. ‘I wonder what would happen if the process of a chair became nothing more then sherds was record and shown to the hardworking police officers?’ Of course they were all scared and ran away.
