A Rose to Change a Life

Chapter 15

Devin-licious

I had to admit, Devin looked really good standing in the middle of my room, his hands tucked into his pockets, while he studied my wall full of quotes. Even for the four weeks, I was staying here, I took them with me, not all of them of course, but the ones which meant the most to me. I could not deny it, I was a girl who liked poetry, so what. "Shakespeare or not, I do not care for your snot". It was my room, but still I felt uncomfortable – not unpleasantly – with the presence of a man in my room. As if sensing it, he spoke up, "I make you nervous, don't I?" 

"No-noo. Of course... not.." I stuttered, a blush creeping over my neck, I buried my face in my hands, feeling the weight of today's day on my shoulders. 
The shuffling of feet, which were dulled by the carpet, brought me back to reality – Devin was suddenly in front of me, kneeling, taking my hand in his and prying my hands from my face.
"I'm sorry, Elva, if I hurt you. It was not my intent, I... should have been... more sensible."

How could HE think that he did something wrong!?  I was the one who freaked at the date, I was the one who was afraid of messing it up, but him.

"No, Dev. You... you did nothing wrong, it is ME I am sorry about, it was not my intent to look like a madwoman in your eyes today. I'm sorry, you were simply so nice and ..and.. I was..." I waved my arms, as much as I could with him holding them, indicating my body. "THIS." Don't ask me how I turned from the hardcore-chick to 'this' in under two minutes, it would give you and me headaches to ponder that. 

His eyes simply held sympathy, though they did seem troubled, apparently, he was thinking about something. One minute of silence passed, then he pressed a feather-light kiss on my forehead – my skin felt like a bag of effervescent powder was rubbed into it – sat on the bed next to me, never once letting go of my hand, crossed my fingers with his and sighed, "Do you know that I felt sad every day until the moment I met you?" My mouth dropped open, forming a slight ‚oh'. 

"This sounds cheesy, I know, I apologize, but what can I do when it is true? Your smile would brighten my day, especially the day when.... when our date broke and...and.. I got that call. It's weird to feel anchored to you after such a short time, you might not believe me right now, still it is the truth." My eyes fixated on his face, seeing his complete honesty, which I was grateful for, not many people were strong enough to show or say what they were feeling. Especially men had issues with it, they thought showing emotions would make them look weak, but seriously, in my eyes, NOT showing them did. 

Devin looked straight ahead, fixating on a point on the wall, continuing his speech "You asked me before why I care for my brother so much, well, it is now or never, I want to tell you because I trust you and to show you we are messed up together." He cocked a slight smile at me, not betraying his voice, which turned monotone. "Kean and I had a hard time since the moment our mother died five years ago from a disease too fatal for her body to endure, I am not a doctor, except I think they did not treat her correctly. It looked like they wanted her to die,.... My father took it hard, he was such a wonderful happy soul, trying to hold us over the water, but failing in the end when he got struck by a bus two years ago because he did not watch out enough. He was dead immediately... left were us. I was eighteen at that time, Kean was fourteen, barely a teen and behaving like one too, now it hung on my shoulders to care for him. You might think a fifteen year old guy did not need to be watched over, but you'd be wrong – I had to bail him out of jail twice because he got into a fight for some cyberbullying,... I don't know the exact story, you would have to ask him to know for sure. Anyway, he was bullied a lot, only after I went to school with him one day, daring anybody to touch him or even look at him evilly – embarrassing him in the process of defending him – did they leave me alone. He did not speak to me for a week afterwards, but if that was the prize I had to pay for his welfare, so was it. My mother reminded me of your Elise to be honest, sweet, caring and always a smile on her face. She was prepared for... her death, so she left a letter, wishing us.... pleading to us to take care of her parents when everything else would fail. Which it did. Naturally. Well, you can imagine the shape my grandparents were in after her death, they were alcohol abusers, chain smokers and would occasionally sniff pot. Any other teenager would have been happy to have such easy access to drugs, but I was not one of them, why? – they only destroyed their brain cells – it did not stop them from.... hitting us. Not one ounce of weed could make their mind fuzzy enough to forget about us, they only forgot the actions, never us. Grandfather had his episodes, one day he'd be nice to no end and the next he would ... bash my head in with a glass bottle." A contained gulp escaped him, his story was harsh even for me, hence I pressed into him even tighter which he seemed grateful for.