A Rose to Change a Life

#6 Devin: Insights

The so-called morning after or the infamous walk of shame did not happen for us because I awoke with the feeling of her eyes on me, which gave me the impression and the confidence to ask her whether she wanted to keep me as a statue.
Naturally, she blushed, hopping out of the bed. I could not let her off the hook that easily as I had to set my intentions clear. That was how she ended up pressed against the wall with me whispering, "I love to be near you everwhere" into her ear. I fled into the shower afterwards otherwise, I would have done things we both would not have been ready for. Especially not after having a night like this. Wow. I was talking like we already had sex. Which we did not, but i guess you were aware of that factum.

Surprisingly enough, I did not feel guilty all that much, yes I admit we laid it on thick and dove in headfirst, almost drowning in it, but one only lived once. Besides with her I had the feeling of ... Belonging. She understood me like nobody did before, even if she had major issues as well. Of which she was not inclined to talk about just yet, but we had nothing but time. She would not get rid of me that easily just because we knew each other for only three days now and had almost seen each other naked. Hell no, I was not one of THOSE guys.

Though I had to admit torturing her a bit was fun, she needed fun and silliness in her life, contemplating of what I knew so far about her. And if it would be jokes about me which made her laugh, then so be it, they made me laugh as well. The shower was refreshing, cold enough to freeze my testicles to death and hot enough to burn my brain cells. The moment I stepped out of the shower I remember that I did not have new clothes with me, so I had to ask her for a t-shirt, of course, she gave me the girliest and most ego-offensive piece of clothing she owned; a darn green one with glittery script. The message of this shirt was clear: "Stop making innuedos otherwise I would have to think that your brain is located in your dick." Lovely.
I wondered if she was pleased with the compliments, it seemed like it, even if she said no, her face spoke another language – those of ripe tomatoes. She was cute when she blushed, without her knowing she'd bite her lower lip whilst averting her eyes, making me go mad in the process.

Dragging her into the kitchen was an easy task, keeping her out of the banter between Kean and me, not so much. As we started to sit down, Kean already shot the first question whether we had slept well. I seriously considered asking him whether he could be any more obvious. Was he not see able to see that we had had a rough night aside from the hot-and-heavy-aspect? It was not as if any one of us looked like the-morning-after impersonated. Really. 

Eating Elise's food was glorious as always, I had no idea how she was able to cook so well – I wanted to bury myself in her food. Was it possible to get buried in a casket full of food or would it rot faster than a corpse? Yuck, well, thinking about it: it would be a waste. I almost choked up the goods again when Elva suddenly told me she wanted to tell 'it', saying she was ready. I heard me exclaiming that I was fine if she still wanted to wait, but she remained stubborn. Elva-style. One of the things I liked about her, she was stubborn, "If you make decisions based upon people's reactions or judgments then you make really boring choices." following Heath Ledger's saying of not being boring. She was adventurous, if shy. She seemed determined and both lost at the same time, as if she thought a lot until she made this decision. We did not want to make it harder than it was for her, so we followed the rules and sat on the couch. Kean, thankfully, made a joke on my expense again, but I did not care as it made the air lighter for a bit. And then she started her story, making my whole image of her change. She surely was something to behold.

She left me speechless in a way only my understanding and closeness to the situation could. I thought I had it hard in my life, that it was rough living with my grandparents, sure it was, but at least I could remember it! Which she did not until now. I felt so bad for her, I was torn between hugging her, putting her into a plastic bubble to shield her from all the bad things life had already thrown at her, and taking revenge upon the guy who managed to break her. I admired her, which she would not believe me if I told her, her ability to stay strong until now was amazing – there was no shame in asking or needing help, really, there was not. I was a stubborn head myself, who needed to learn his lesson, too.

Seeing her, I seriously did not know what to do, the only thing I hoped was that perhaps alcohol would be able to soothe her nerves – yes yes, I knew she and I disliked alcohol equally, but special situations required special treatments. I was not even sure when I proclaimed my desire for a drink that Elise even had one, so I went to the bathroom in order to splash water on my heated face. Surprisingly enough she stored a friggin' bar in her bathroom closet, apparently Little Miss Sunshine was more sunny than we'd thought. Who would have guessed. 

When I got back I poured out shots like one would in a bar where a shot would be 50% off, we soaked up the liquid like water. I did not even hesitate pouring Elva more than one shot, I was worried about her. Worried that she might hyperventilate. Worried that she'd run. Worried that she would let her past control you. I would not allow that, alcohol was not the answer to it, I knew, instead I sat down on her side which was not occupied by Elise, hugging her to me.

I was barely able to contain my rage, what sick bastard did that to a child?! How disfunctional did his brain have to be? I hoped she held onto my whispered words, they were the utmost truth, I wanted it to work out.
Remember when I said that I admired her before? Well, the thing she did next proved my point. She stood up like nothing happened, whiped her face, ending 'so-called- Elva-pity' and dove headfirst into solving the problem. THIS was what I loved... oh.. wait..nono, not loved in that sense, that might be a bit too far-fetched now, let me rephrase that 'what I adored' about her. 

Thankfully my brother – the tiny computer geek with one hell of knowledge – had his ability and tried to find out as much about this Greg dude as possible. Only when he cried out EUREKA did I know that shit just turned serious, he seriously thought the word was still considered cool today – I snorted, what a silly guy. Apparently, he forgot that it was out of fashion the moment Archemedes run around naked whilst yelling it. Nevertheless, we did turn to look what it was he got so anxious about, discovering a shocking detail. It was Elise who discovered it actually.

She fled from the room faster than it took Kean's and my pupils to dilate. Us, being men and sort-of-strangers, stayed behind a bit and took our time wading after the ladies, where we soon found them sitting huddled together in the bathroom with their backs leaned against the tub. It was easy to find out that Greg was the guy Elise dated, but to see it in front of ones eyes made the situation even more spicey. I did not like this guy at all and if he could not even keep his fingers of Elva's friend in order to get to her, what would he do if he actually got her? I dreaded that thought like nothing else.

Making it quick; the next hour we spent searching Elise's clothes for a bug or anything resembling one. We did find one, but Kean destroyed it as soon as he tried to open it – I was mad, it was our only connection to HIM, and he was improvident enough to ruin it. It was the anger speaking, I told myself, it was not really his fault, people who treated other people like they were scum simply made me aggressive.

But I bet that was not the part you wanted to have insight in, right? Oh, how I know you – you want to know my thoughts on being alone with Elva again, I assume.
Elise sent us off to a walk after my brother threw one of his computer-tandrums, to burn off our alcohol, but it was only another phrasing of "Go make out and get this sexual tension out of your system." At least, that was what I thought she had meant.
I was too nervous to talk, she possibly thought I was self-confident, but I begged to differ, her presence made me nervous, especially after being so revealing yesterday. It had been a big day for the both of us, no denying that, but did I feel guilty about it? No. Did I want to apologize? Perhaps, but just because it was the appropriate thing to do. I could feel her gaze on me, making me smile, this time I gave her the time of studying me instead of gazing right back into her black pits of orbits. Those eyes were made to get lost in. I did surprise her when I unfolded my virginity status to her, but she paid me back when I addressed yesterdays situation and she shut me up with a kiss. And what a kiss it was.

This kiss was my opportunity to say all I felt inside, saying things which nobody of us dared to say just yet and giving each other the feeling of getting lost in each other. I kissed her slowly, putting tiny kisses on the corners of her mouth, butterfly soft and treating her like she was a precious thing. Which she was on the inside. I cherished every second of it, not even caring that we looked like an odd pair: a man with a glittery green t-shirt and rough stubble, kissing a girl too badass for her own good.