Only If We Could Turn Back Time

Falling apart

When someone falls in love, they do stupid things.

When someone falls in love and the person you love, loves you back is the most beautiful feeling ever.

But then everything started to fall apart like a dead leaf.

" I like you" I said

I know he likes someone else. It's obvious. I just can't seem to hold this bacm anymore. Letting go is the perfect thing to after this.

He said " Nooo, nobody cannot love me!"

I replied " But someone already does"

He said " I'm leaving the Philippines"

He looks so concernes about the people who loves him. It's like he doesn't want to hurt anybody when he leaves.

What about me?

Yea, let's say he thought of me. I'll miss him, if he doesn't come back, what is happiness?

Shall I search for it somewhere? I'm happy with my friends but with him it's different.

It's like when you wear a ring for so long and it you lost it. Your finger will feel empty like something is missing.

Thats how I'm going to feel. I cannot imagine how i can handle life if people started leaving me one by one.

To my favorite cat,
Thank you for everything, everything, including the fights the laughter and the smiles we shared. The thought of you leaving me, i cannot imagine. I know I'm sounding a bit crazy but this is what it is.
사랑해 툼💕

This is definitely Not the end. I'll move on. If you don't comeback that just means, we're not meant for each other. I'll find someone better.

Our favorite day has come, fieldtrip. We are gonna be having a team building activity and all that fun stuff.

Early in the morning, I went to school and there were a lot of students playing the waiting game at our school lobby. I eyed everyone, trying to search for my friends but they're nowhere to be found. I texted my friend

Where the hell are you???

Almost there..

Minutes later, I saw her walking towards me. Finally, i sighed.

You took forever.

We sat down and lined up as teachers instructed us. I kept on looking back at the line hoping to see his ridiculously tall figure looking like a lost child.

Then there I saw it. His head was spinning as if looking for something. I wondered, who will he sit next to?

We got up and started walking to our bus. Me and my friend, Jasmin, sat just on the 6th row right side of the bus. I sat by the window and we would change seats after every stop.

I was dumbfounded when he sat together with my japanese classmate in front of us. I tried to act cool. Jasmin noticed what I just saw.

"What?!?" I exclaimed

"Tom is in front of us," yieee she told me.

" What the hell are you talking about?!?" I knew. She knew what I felt. At least she did.

" Stop being in denial and just tell me"

" What am I suppose to tell you? A lie?"

No it's the truth , stop hiding it will you?!?

" Fine if you say so. " She doesn't look convinced but she pretended to be.

She knows I have the habit of raising my feet over the chair of whose in front so I did.

I made a mistake doing that.

He felt my feet and grabbed it and started pulling.

"Tom 하지마!! (Stop!!) "

Yea that's the truth I wanted him to stop because he's hurting me PHYSICALLY.

After the first stop, me and Jasmin changed seats. She was at the window side and I was by the aisle, in front of Tom.

I took out my phone and listened to music as we go. He suddenly looks back at me.

" What are you listening to?" He asked

" Eyes , nose, lips by Taeyang why?"

" Nicee... Can I listen too?"

I plugged the other earphone in his ear and it was very hard to maintain the balance. I was sitting behind him and imagine how we did it.

I moved forward leaning my head on the back of his chair and his head leaning toward me.

It was hard but anything for him.

I asked if he was asleep and yes he is. He lookes ugly as fuck but I didn't mind. All i see is someone sleeping. I tried to take pictures but he woke up.

As long as I remember he doesn't want anyone taking pictures of him. When I took one, he fights me for my phone and deleting it.

I don't want.