Aftershock (Sequel to Yes I Am- A Demi Lovato Fanfiction)

Chapter 13

“Mommy! I go to school soon!” Elli said, running into my room. She was wearing her uniform and school bag already.

“You don’t start till next week hon.” I laughed at her enthusiasm and smiled at her as she clambered onto the bed. She was turning 5 in a matter of days, and was off to school on Monday. I was still coming to terms with the idea of her not being a toddler any longer. She was growing up, too fast. I wished Amelie could be with me to watch her as she inspected her uniform proudly, tracing the logo on her school frock as she sang to herself quietly. “So…” I smiled at her, jumping off the bed and swinging her up onto my hip. “Do you want to go out for a big girl lunch today?”

“Yay!” She shouted squirming out of my grip and running off down the hallway, her bag bouncing up and down as she ran. She turned around just before she reached the corner and gave me a cheeky grin.

“I’ll be out in a second hon, I just need to get changed!” I called down the hall, before shutting the door. I found the bag of clothes Alexis had found for me out of her wardrobe and pulled out a pair of jeans and a loose t-shirt. I stood there in my pants and a bra, looking myself up and down in the mirror. I remembered doing this at 15, in my room in Texas. It was different this time though, I wasn’t anorexic.

“Demi!” Alexis’ voice came and she poked her head around the corner. I squealed and tried to cover myself up with the clothes I’d picked out.

“Sorry! Sorry!” She said covering her eyes. I laughed it off, but internally I was freaking out. I didn’t like anyone seeing me any less than fully clothed.

“It’s fine don’t worry.” I chuckled, pulling my jeans on quickly.

“Can I look?” She asked, uncovering her eyes before I could respond.

“Um no, put those peeping eyes away!” I freaked, and pulled the top over my head.

“Sorry, I just, I had to check you hadn’t you know.. cut.” She looked at the ground and I gritted my teeth. Was this really how little my friends trusted me?

“Well I haven’t.” I said flatly, throwing my pajamas on the bed.

“You’re really skinny Demi. Like too skinny.” She said, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind me. I pushed her off me.

“Fascinating. Can I go now?” I said. She was pissing me off now.

“Demi. You’re skipping meals. This isn’t healthy. Please stop pretending your fine, because I know you’re not.” She grabbed my hands, trying to hold me where I was.

“I’m not pretending. I am fine.” I said, emotionlessly. I wished she would leave me alone. She wasn’t the one with weight to lose.

“Marissa’s picking you up at four this afternoon. You’re going back to Timberline Knolls.” She said, dropping my hands. I ran away from her, down the hallway to find Elli. She was the only reason my cheeks weren’t tear-stained.

“Right baby, let’s go.” I swooped down and picked her up, ignoring Alexis who was chasing after me. I jumped in the car, lifting Elli over to the passenger seat, even though her booster seat was in the back. “Put your seatbelt on.” I said, and she did as she was told. I reversed out of the driveway with Alexis running after the car. We were down the street before she could catch up with us.

“Are you alright mommy?” Elli asked, looking across at me from the passenger seat.

“I’m fine hon. Do you want to go see mom? I miss her a lot today.” I was already on the way to the cemetery.

“Okay mommy.” She smiled to herself and played with the hem of her uniform. I pulled into the parking lot of the cemetery, not even caring that Alexis and or Marissa would probably find me here. I got out and went around to get Elli. With her perched on my hip, I made my way over to the grave I’d visited only once in almost five years. Elli was watching my face intently and she didn’t seem surprised when I started crying. I let Elli down and she sat at the base of the grave. I sat beside her and took her hand in mine.

“Hey mom.” Elli said quietly and I smiled a little through the tears. “Mommy and I came to say hello. Mommy said that she misses you a lot. I miss you too.” Elli said, then she started crying and I pulled her into my lap, holding her tight to my chest.

“Hey.” Came a voice from behind me.