Aftershock (Sequel to Yes I Am- A Demi Lovato Fanfiction)

Chapter 14

I turned my head to see Marissa standing there, tears rolling down her face. I didn’t want to talk to her. I was with Elli, and Amelie. It was silent other than the sound of Elli crying into my chest and Marissa’s sniffles from behind me. There was a rumble of thunder and then the heavens opened and it started pouring with rain. I didn’t move, holding Elli tight to my chest to keep her as dry as possible.

“Demi, come on! Elli’s going to catch a cold!” Marissa shouted over the sound of the rain hitting the ground. I said nothing. I didn’t have the energy or willpower to move. Marissa ran and took Elli from my arms. I didn’t stop her. I heard her feet hitting the concrete path over the constant sound of the rain, leaving me alone. I was almost glad. I’d had enough of people recently. I opened my eyes and took in every last detail of Amelie’s gravestone.

“I’m such a disappointment.” I whispered, gripping my wrist, pressing my nails into the skin. I had so much pain, so much shit I hadn’t dealt with all stored up inside me, but it was expanding and I was about to explode. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed the rain had stopped or that Marissa was shaking me, trying to get my attention.

“Demi. You look like you’re going to faint, please come to the car.” She pleaded, and the look in her eyes willed me to get up and follow Rissa to her car. I was drenched, my eyes were stinging from the make-up that had washed into them, my clothes and shoes were ruined and my hair was a tangled, dripping mess. And I honestly didn’t give a shit . Everyone was going to see what a failure I was anyway, so why should I bother trying to not look like a failure? Marissa opened the passenger door to her car for me, I was in too much of a trance to even think about what I was doing and I climbed into the car.

“I’m going to drop you off back at Alexis’ house, alright babe?” Marissa told Elli who was sitting in the backseat. “Then mom and I have to go, so make sure Lexi gives you a bath, alright?”

“Ok.” Elli said from the back, she sounded cold and I felt terrible, I was the one who’d sat in the rain with her. Marissa started up the car and looked across at me. She sighed, before leaning across and clicking my seatbelt for me. I didn’t say anything, just pulled my knees up to my face and rested my head in them.

The slamming of the car door woke me up and I watched as Rissa hurried Elli inside to Alexis who was waiting with a towel. I watched Elli as Rissa and Alexis exchanged a few words, then the door shut and I couldn’t see my baby anymore. I looked out the other window as I heard Marissa get back in the car. I was so angry at her for making me leave. I was so angry at the world in general.

“How are you feeling?” Marissa asked in an attempt to get me to look over at her. I ignored her and tried ringing the water out of my hair, it was making me cold. “You have some decisions to make. Please talk to me.” Her voice was pleading, and I didn’t want to give in but I couldn’t help looking over at her. Her eyes were trained on the road but I could see how bloodshot they were. I felt terrible for making her cry.

“I’m sorry. I’m just really, really emotional right now.” I said slowly, I opened my eyes to find I’d been gripping my arm so tightly I’d actually broken the skin. Marissa pulled over the car, turning to face me in her seat.

“You’re anorexic again Demi. You either need to go back to Timberline or go to therapy here and agree to eat a certain amount of food each day.” I swallowed at what she’d said. It all came, all the stuff I hadn’t dealt with, up to the surface, escaping in the form of tears.

“I don’t like the way I look. It repulses me. It repulsed him too, that’s why he hit me.” I cried, covering my face with my hands.

“Am I scheduling you a plane to Illinois back to Timberline?” She asked, tapping her fingers on the back of her other hand.