Secrets (A Jiley fanfic - The Next Step)

t h i r t y

Goodbye.

A word that's almost impossible to say when you know you mean it.

He drops me off at my house on the way to his new town.

Through the journey, I pray for it not to be over, but as we turn into my road I know that our last time seeing each other is inevitable.

He pulls his car to a halt outside my home.

"I guess this is goodbye." He says only just loudly enough for me to hear.

Tears begin to stream down my face. He quickly opens his door and walks around to mine, opening it up, undoing my seatbelt and lifting me up.

"Shh." He tries to sooth me, but my heart is breaking.

He lets me stand on my feet and I pull him very tightly into a hug. I don't want to move but I turn when I hear my front door open behind me. My parents stand in the doorway looking sympathetically at me.

"I have to go soon." James whispers to me softly.

"Can't you just stay here with me?" I plead.

"Sorry but that can't happen. Everything's been arranged. I have to go." He says regretfully "If it was my decision, I would never leave you."

I kiss him on the lips and hug him. He begins to pull away and I know he has to go "Wait." I say "Kiss me one more time. You know, this may be our last kiss so please let's make it matter." I say through my silent tears.

I stand on my tiptoes, like it always has been since he beginning and gently press my lips to his. The warmth thaws my freezing heart for a moment, and I feel sad and happy and every emotion at the saw time.

I don't care that my parents are watching, and my sister probably too from upstairs. The whole street could be watching for all I care. The whole of the country could be observing our last moments, possibly the world. It wouldn't make me feel any different. I don't care that aliens may be watching from the other side of the Universe through telescopes a million times more powerful than ours. All I can see is James, and he is my family, my world, my Universe.

He detaches his lips from mine. "Never forget that I love you so much." He hugs me one final farewell and drops something small into my hand. Walking around to his door, he climbs in and I watch as he drives off to a new life, a new start.

I sit at the front of my house for so long, it has been a long time since my parents retired indoors. I sit staring at where James was and where he probably would never be again.

The tears stream down my cheeks but I don't wipe them away.

What's the point.

It's only when the front door reopens that I follow my parents into the house and fall into my mother's arms, crying out of sadness, loneliness, weariness and defeat. The only reassurance in the gift in my hand which I can guess what it is without even having to look at it. I lay down, staring at the plain white ceiling.

What's the point, I ask myself.

What is the point?