Foot Powder Spray (Osomatsu-san crackfic short)

41 1 0
                                    

Author's Note

One of those fanfics where I wonder wtf I'm doing with my life...

Alright, so uh... this one was based off of a conversation with a friend (one that sprialed downwards quickly (^:). I honestly don't know how this happened, but I found inspiration for it, and uh... here it is I guess.

As the title suggests, this is more of a crackfic, one to not be taken too seriously. And yet, like everything I write, I put way too much effort into this XD But here's a random short where Todomatsu (I never state his name in the story, but y'all can figure out who the character is) gets ambushed by a marketing Karamatsu.

And hopefully maybe someday I will write something serious and not matsu-related...  s o m e d a y  n o t  s o o n  :^)

---

It's a little quiet today...

Alone in a train heading to a neighboring city sat a rather bored man tapping idly on his cell phone. Though there were a good number of people around, the air wasn't filled with casual chatter - it was calm, which didn't surprise the passenger at all, for it was early in the morning. Many adults on their way to work were too tired to make conversation with their friends, and even this one could barely keep his head up.

Why do I have to wake up this damn early, anyway? He thinks, distracting himself from his grumpiness by checking his Instagram for any new posts. The ride was about half an hour long, so there was quite a bit of time to kill before he reaches the city. As a part-time barista, he has yet to get used to the rather early hours of his job, thanks to countless nights of staying up late browsing the Internet.

Out of nowhere, as the man was scrolling through pictures of random everyday objects and selfies, the phone screen froze, and he lets out an annoyed sigh as a small advertisement covers the page; it was marketing something like a body spray. Of all ads to accidentally tap on, why must it be a video I can't skip??

After about ten seconds that felt like fifty, the impatient passenger is able to click out of the video and get back to Instagram. But just when he thinks he can browse peacefully again, he hears a small noise across from him, a simple, confident "heh". Without looking up to see the origin of the sound, he chooses to ignore the person and continue scrolling, eyes locked on the phone. But that didn't do him any good, for he sensed the passenger stand from his seat and walk towards him. Even when the guy sat down next to him, his gaze didn't stray from the screen. What a creep, he mentally notes, Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away.

"Yo, young man!"

Sighing, the victim has no choice but to politely look up at the guy. He was about the same age as him, and looked too familiar, almost like a doppelganger - no, he looked exactly like him! But this man was wearing sunglasses (despite the fact that he was indoors, he noted), a navy blue hoodie, and painfully sparkly blue jeans. Although the passenger wasn't  a fan of the fashion, if not downright disgusted, he still couldn't shake off the feeling of déjà vu, and his groggy brain was trying to remember who this man is.

Nevertheless, the painful guy slid closer to him, swinging his right leg up suddenly, kicking off a shoe that narrowly missed another person's head. Now side by side, the guy leans in closer and speaks in a deep, soothing voice. "Ah, yes, surely you must have heard of Gold Bond, right?"

A marketer. I should have known... I guess?

"Now, my boy, picture this: it's a brutally cold day, the harsh winter winds like razors against your skin. Naturally, your poor, tired skin would dry up, yes?"

But it's the middle of summer, the disgusted passenger notes.

"Well, with several Gold Bond products, your skin can feel soft and alive again! Our most recent products include body powder, but not just any body powder - body powder that you can spray! But wait, what's next, you ask?" the marketer carelessly tosses an orange spray can the passenger didn't notice he was holding, presumably the body powder spray he was blabbing on about. Practically squished against his victim, the man lifts his painfully bright leg even higher into the air, his bare foot  in front of the passenger's face, and huskily whispers in his ear, uttering but one sentence.

"Foot powder spraaay!" he slips a light blue spray can into his victim's hand, and the passenger's eyes suddenly widened.

"Wait, Karamatsu-" he begins, but the next thing he knew, the marketer was gone. Was that Karamatsu? What even happened...?

Snapping his gaze around frantically, he realizes that the surrounding passengers remain neutral, as if nothing happened at all. But, something did happen... didn't it?

Glancing down at his hand, he finds a small spray can of some Gold Bond foot powder spray, wondering how it got there.

Well, no harm in trying it out, I guess...

A Collection of Short Stories (ft. a lot of osomatsu-san)Where stories live. Discover now