Breathe

Chapter four : Kindness

"That was quite the scene back there."  Dr. Banner's voice comes from the door of the deck.

"I don't handle people like him well."  I reply, breathing in the fresh air.

"If it's any consolation, he's still speechless."

"I have that affect on people."  I grumble.

"You still want to try to recover your memories?"

"SHIELD will gain from it."  I turn to him as I grip the railing with one hand, "And I've survived worse."

"They never actually informed me of your ability."  Banner says curiously, not even posing it as a question.

"I can mimick the abilities of any animal."  I sigh, "It's unique, I'll give them that."

"It's astounding."  He marvels, "And it started showing after the experiment?"

"Plural: experiments.  But yes, it developed after."  I take one look at the pity on his face, "Doctor, I've read you dealt with some gamma radiation."

"Yes?"

"I've been read in on all the Avengers, but I kept some details in the file.  Though your ability I can assume."

"Yea, I'd rather not talk about the other guy."

"It was nice speaking to you doctor, but I should head out"  I try to end the conversation, he immediately looks confused.

"I thought you were staying here?"

"I am."  I pause, "But I haven't been able to walk around freely in seven years.  I think you understand."

"Of course, I'm sorry."  He ducks back into the tower, leaving me with my thoughts.

Is Stark right?  Am I just a pawn?  Just a stupid, non-complacent soldier that does exactly what they're told?  I grip the handrail tighter.  What all happened in that facility?  Is there more that I don't remember?  Did I kill more than I thought?  I squeeze my eyes shut at the thought.  My body count is already in the 500's because of the small cities I detroyed, I don't want it to increase.

I've killed so many.

But it was HYDRA.  They turned me into this.

But it was my mission.  My duty.

How do I adjust?  I'm not just a SHIELD agent anymore, I'm an Avenger with weird powers.  But I was never just a SHIELD agent before, and I hate having to admit I'm Aecus.  Because I'm also part of the Atrox family.  The family everyone forgot about because I'm the only one left.  The family known for cruelty and ruthlessness.

"Stop overthinking."  A voice startles me from my thoughts, I turn around the face a certain redhead.

"Natasha?"

"Steve goes on early morning runs."  She says, "You need to clear your head."

"How did yo-"

"Banner called, you really stood up to Stark.  He needed an ego drop anyways."  She shrugs, "I'll text you his address."

"But-"

"Vera."  Natasha sighs, "Fury's orders."

I hold up my hands in defeat, "Alright."
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

I knock on the door at the end of the hallway.  I'm intruding, this isn't professional.  I sigh, it's Fury's orders.  The door swings open revealing Captain Rogers.

"Captain."  I greet, he looks behind me.

"How'd you get my address?"  He realizes what he said, "I'm not trying to be rude or any-"

"Natasha gave it to me.  I'm supposed to go running with you, Fury's orders."

"You make it sound like a death sentence."

"I don't mean to."  I look at him sincerely, "I promise, a lot's just been going on."

"It's ok."  He lightly smiles, "Do you want to come in?"

"Are you ready?"

"I still have to pack up a few things."

"Alright."  I reply and follow him in as he gestures to the couches in the family room.

"Make yourself at home, I'll only be a couple minutes."  He walks into his bedroom, but pops back out again, "And call me Steve, we're on the same team now."

I nod to him and fiddle with the ring on my left hand.  The silver ring shines and the light glints off of it.  I lightly trace my finger over it and a gentle smile appears on my face.  Too bad the wedding fell through, I would've been married to a kind man already.  I look out the window next to me.  But I would've been married to a man I didn't want to be, I just wanted to be his best friend.  Not his wife.  If he wasn't forced to propose, maybe he'd still be alive.  I frown at the thought.  He was HYDRA, but he didn't belong there.

"All set."  A voice jolts me back to reality.  I stand up quickly, letting my hands fall to my sides, "Did I interrupt?"

"Just thinking."  I shrug, "Time to run?"

"Yeah."  I follow him out of his apartment, "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Excuse me?"  I tilt my head, he turns around.

"You have an engagement ring on."

"Oh."  I thumb the silver band again, "He's gone."

"I'm sorry."  He looks sincere, I clear my throat.

"Don't be, it was my fault anyway."

"I doubt that."

"You don't know what happened."  I reply, walking beside him towards the park.

"Then tell me."  I shake my head, he lets out a deep breath, "What you went through the past seven years....  You need to talk to someone."

"In my own time."  I avoid his eyes.

"In your own time."  He agrees, not speaking for a couple minutes as we reach the area.

"How about a race?"  I challenge.

"Can you keep up?"  He laughs.

"Can you?"  I grin before taking off without any abilities, he catches up within ten seconds and passes me easily.  I huff, and focus on the fastest animal on earth.  The cheetah.  If he's using his endurance and speed, why can't I?  I sprint off and let the speed run through me.  I laugh breathlessly as I quickly pass him.  His alarmed expression throws me into a laughing fit and I lap the Reflecting Pool several times before I start getting tired.  I end up leaning on a tree nearby as Rogers jogs over.

"You cheated." 

"You get to use your endurance, I thought it was only fair I got to use my ability."  I smirk.

"What animal did you even use?"

"The fastest one in the world."  I hint.

"I guessed that."  He sasses.

"A cheetah."