Breathe

Chapter eleven : Surgery

Two days ago Bruce ran some extra tests on my eyes to see if they're getting worse by the day.  They are.  He walked me through the surgery and everything that would happen, but it would be a lot more comforting if 90% of my vision didn't have completely blured and distracting, unknown shapes.  My glasses haven't been helping, after the second day they became useless.

Echolocation has been how I've been walking around the tower and training when I think the team is starting to worry about me.  But today my echolocation isn't working right, I must be using too much too suddenly.  I clamour my way to my bedroom door by memory, I never changed into my pajamas last night so I don't have to worry about getting dressed.  I sloppily open the door and stumble into the hall, I try to use my echolocation again, but no such luck. 

I scrub at my eyes, trying to get the 10% of limited vision to work as I hear footsteps coming towards me.  The rubbing worked and I can just barely make out the tall, muscular figure  with short blond hair.

"Hi Steve."  I greet, trying to smile as my vision retreats back into the realm of nonexistence.

"I'm bringing you to your surgery."  He says, in an almost gentle way.

"I can get there just fine."

"You can't see, Vera."  He says, I drop my head in disgrace.

"No, I can't."

"Can you use your ability at all?"

"It's not working today."  I mumble, "It might slightly bank on my sight."

"We can figure that out later, when you can see again."

"Yea."  I grip his arm as he guides me down the hall.
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The doctors whisper around me, but I can't see them, only mismatched colors and shapes.  I tap each finger against my thumb on both hands, reasuring myself of what I can.  Footsteps are all over the room and it's driving me crazy.

"Agent Atrox, can you please open your eyes."  A doctor orders.  I freeze my hand movements.  My eyes are closed?  But there are shapes and colors, colors that are constantly changing.  How are my eyes closed?  I open my eyes and the colors stay the same. 

"Can.... Can you tell me when you're going to start?"  My voice wavers, being blind can't be too bad right?  I think to myself as I feel my arms being held down and a scalpel dangerously close to my throat.  I try to scream but nothing comes out.

"Of course."  Comes a muffled reply, but I don't know where it's from, "We're about to start, are you ready?"

I barely hear the words as a ripping pain comes from my neck, I violently loosen the person's grasp from my limbs.  A vicious growl erupts from my mouth and I leap off of the chair I was restrained to, glaring at the man holding the bloody scalpel.  I can see? 

My vision blurs out and I fall backwards just as I hear a familiar voice trying to calm someone down.
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I gasp and rocket up into a sitting position, seeing nothing but blurred colors and shapes once again.  A sob tries to escape my mouth involuntarily, but my throat is raw and no sound comes out.  Soft bands keep me restrained, I fight them, trying to summon strength from any animal I can think of, but it doesn't work.  I feel wetness on my cheeks and I squirm in the chair or whatever I'm in.  I don't want to be here.  I don't know where I am.  Where am I.  Someone help me.  Someone help me.  Someone help m-

"Vera, you need to calm down."  I hear a feminine voice, Natasha.  I take a deep breath and relax my muscles.  She's a friend, I'm safe, "We're giving you medicine for your throat so it heals faster."

I try to speak but it comes out as a noise similar to an animal's.

"Do you want to completely ruin your voice?"  She asks brutally, I shut my mouth and stay silent, "You're at Avengers Tower, in the medical wing.  You've been here for two days screaming your lungs out and thrashing all over the whole time."

"You had an episode before they even started working on your eyes, you almost killed a doctor."  She continues, "Vera, when you can talk again you need to tell me what happened, for your own sake."

I nod my head in reply, feeling lightheaded.  I had a flashback, that's why I could see.  That's why I went ballistic.  I was reliving the moment they tried to remove my vocal chords.