Breathe

Chapter twelve : Vocal Chords

"Vera?"  Bruce knocks on my door, I stay sitting on my bed.  I still can't really talk and it's been two days, "Vera, you should be able to talk at least a little."

I nod my head silently, knowing he can't see me.

"I'll get Tony."  He warns, my eyes get wide.  Last time he came in here he pestered me about everything that came to his mind.

"No!"  The word slips through my lips.

"Okay, then.  I'll send Nat over so you can talk to her."  I can hear the smile in his voice.  I groan and fall backwards into my bed, knocking my head against the wall on accident.

"Ow."  I rub the spot carefully, I need more spacial awareness.  I wave my hands in front of my face, wanting to see a shift in the color of the indistinct shapes.  There is no shift.  I squeeze my eyelids shut and force them open again.  Have my clear brown eyes given into the blurriness?  Are they even still that rich brown color I remember?  Is the sky cloudy today or is it clear?  The questions race through my mind as I hear someone knock on my bedroom door before opening it.

"What color is the sky today?" I ask, my voice raspy.

"Completely blue, not a cloud in sight."  Natasha replies.

"That's too bad, I like clouds."  I frown.

"What happened, Vera?"

"Do you remember me saying how they tried to take out my vocal chords?"  I ask, she hums a 'yes', "I think the procedure triggered that memory, I didn't know what was going on or where I was anymore.  Just that a scalpel was digging into my neck."

"Why did they want to take them out?"  I sigh.

"I had a second ability that allowed me to persuade people very easily simply by speaking to them." I remember the ability almost fondly,  "I could say 'cat' and make the entire room do jumping jacks if I thought hard enough."

"Mind control?"

"Sort of, but I had to know exactly what I wanted or else it would backfire on me."  I shake my head, and laugh "HYDRA thought it would be wise to give me the ability because I was a loyal ally, but after they found out how much damage I could do, they wanted the ability reversed."

"Did they succeed?"  She asks, "You can still speak, but can you still use that ability?"

"No."  I frown slightly, "There was too much damage for me to heal properly, for both my voice and what I could do with it."

I can feel her stare, "Did HYDRA ever make you use it?"

I lower my head, "They wiped me and sent me to a small city, once they got their results and a vacant city, I was brought back and wiped again." 

"You remember it?"

"Only barely, my memories aren't coming back in full yet."  I twiddle my thumbs, "They made some mistakes and so they detroyed my voice."

"Mistakes?  What else happened?"  Her curiosity is clear in her voice.  I shake my head, I'm not telling her anything else.

"Who's all in the building?  I hear more footsteps than usual."

"Your hearing's getting better."  She sounds surprised, "The whole team's in the building today, we're all worried about you."

"You don't need to be, just because I can't see doesn't mean I'm dying."

"But you think your abilities rely on sight, and if that's true-"

"I won't be an Avenger anymore?"

"No, whether you have powers or not you're an Avenger, Vera.  It's just some of us worry how you'll adjust."

"I'll figure it out."  I reply sharply, "You can go."

She sits there for a moment, not moving.  I think she nods her head before she gets up, but I wouldn't know.  She walks quietly to the door, leaves, and closes the door behind her.  I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and run a hand through my hair.  I won't know when I start getting gray hairs.  The sudden thought pops into my mind.  How will I pick out what I'm going to wear in the mornings?  What if I put a bat sock and a mermaid sock on?  I won't be able to watch another thunderstorm, or see my uncle.  I frown at these thoughts.  I'm blind, I can't see.  The thought hits me hard, I lay down and scrunch my pillow up underneath my head.

My abilities.  How can I use them? Wait, I love reading.  I need to be able to read.  I need to learn braille.  Do I know braille?  I get faint nostalgia  about the thought, I must know braille.  It feels like I learned it sometime in HYDRA. 

I shake my head to clear the intrusive thoughts, I need to focus on my mimicking abilities.  Before, I could just think of the animal, maybe I need to describe it in my mind?  I try to think of the limbs and abilities of a bat.

No echolocation.

I picture a bat flying, using it's echolocation.

No echolocation.

I sit up and lean against the wall, I need to be able to use echolocation.  I deliberately close my eyes and imagine using echolocation.  I make a clicking sound and notice the echoes coming back to me.  I let out a squeal of joy and do a little happy dance.