Torment ( not done )

Chapter 3 Cry for Help

* My POV * 

7:30 pm

I should reply to Erika . Although I don't know what to say.

Me: If I talk about it . They win. they get the best of me again . I will not cry over them .

Okay so I also haven't told her I have been crying I dont know why but I have been having flashbacks like crazy. She doesn't need to know that though. It will just worry her more. She has a bad habit of doing that . Worrying about me when its not needed . I look at the papers in my hand my favorite poem . I made it so long ago . It seems like ages . A different person . Its not my favorite because its poetic . Because its about her my bmff . 

Ride or die!

Your there for me when I am down and out you would never do me wrong our friendship is something I cherish I could never lie to you or make you feel unworthy your like no other friend I have had could be because you are the best you get me more than most I can tell you anything you know how to make me smile when all I want to do is cry I am glad we met I don't know what I would do without you I believe this is what they call once in a life time ... Once in a blue moon kind of friendship you are my ride or die and I love you. 

As I am thinking I write weird my phone chimes. 

Erika : I'm coming over. 

I am shocked . I type my reply fast praying she gets it before she leaves .

Me : I am fine . You rest you had a long day . I don't wanna bother you. Besides I think imma shower anyway.

I get up and shower again . Its what I do when I know imma cry . I can't help but think maybe I should tell her . Maybe she would understand. I don't take long I have had two today. I didn't cry my mind was to busy. I sit on my bed in my sweat shirt and sweat pants my phone goes off I hear All I need by within temptations . I don't have the strength to answer it. If its important they will call back or leave a voice mail. I pull my knees up to my chin and cry . I knew it was coming . damn it . I rock back and forth wondering why they could do this to me. They both hurt me I was supposed to trust them with my life. I don't know how to put my self back together anymore . I am trying I really am it doesn't help I remember every thing they said everything they did every time they touched me. I cry harder why not no one is home. I can't breathe I am trying to catch my breathe thinking God I took my makeup off.

Picking up Priscilla my lady bug pillow pet . I notice that my phone is blowing up . Prolly Facebook . Shaking my head I hug Priscilla to me. I hear the back door slam causing me to jump . I don't try to hide the tears or fright . My family never uses the back door . Maybe its someone my mom sent to do something if I stay in here I should be good . Holding my mouth to keep my sobs under control . In case its my parents . I can't help but cry harder . I close my eyes trying to shut up my negative Nancy in my head she hates me . Always have something to say.

Its all your fault they did it .

You weren't worth there time nor the fight .

you're so worthless .

You do nothing right .

Your sister is better than you.

You're fat that's why no one likes you.

You're to loud .

She is prettier than you and you know it .

That's why he wants her they all want her more.